搞笑谚语英文
A. 搞笑英语小说和英语谚语
Reading enriches the mind.开卷有益。
Reading is to the mind while exercise to the body.读书健脑，运动强身。
Respect yourself, or no one else will respect you.要人尊敬，必须自重。
Rome is not built in a day.冰冻三尺，非一日之寒。
Saying is one thing and doing another.言行不一。
Seeing is believing.眼见为实。
Seek the truth from facts.实事求是。
Send a wise man on an errand, and say nothing to him.智者当差，不用交代。
Set a thief to catch a thief.以贼捉贼。
Short accounts make long friends.好朋友勤算账。
Something is better than nothing.聊胜于无。
Soon learn, soon forgotten.学得快，忘得快。
Soon ripe, soon rotten.熟得快，烂得快。
Speech is silver, silence is gold.能言是银，沉默是金。
Still water run deep.静水常深。
Strike the iron while it is hot.趁热打铁。
Success belongs to the persevering.坚持就是胜利。
Take things as they come.既来之，则安之。
Talking mends no holes.空谈无补。
Talk of the devil and he will appear.说曹操，曹操就到。
Tall trees catch much wind.树大招风。
Teach others by your example.躬亲示范。
The best hearts are always the bravest.无私者无畏。
The best man stumbles.伟人也有犯错时。
The cat shuts its eyes when stealing.掩耳盗铃。
The danger past and God forgotten.过河拆桥。
The darkest hour is nearest the dawn.黎明前的黑暗。
The darkest place is under the candlestick.烛台底下最暗。
The devil knows many things because he is old.老马识途。
The devil sometimes speaks the truth.魔鬼有时也会说真话。
The die is cast.木已成舟。
The early bird catches the worm.早起的鸟儿有虫吃。
The end justifies the means.只要目的正当，可以不择手段。
The end makes all equal.死亡面前，人人平等。
The eye is bigger than the belly.贪多嚼不烂。
The farthest way about is the nearest way home.抄近路反而绕远路。
The finest diamond must be cut.玉不琢，不成器。
The fire is the test of gold, adversity of strong man.烈火验真金，艰难磨意志。
The first step is the only difficulty.迈出第一步是最艰难的。
The fox knew too much, that's how he lost his tail.机关算尽太聪明，反误了卿卿性命。
The fox preys farthest from home.兔子不吃窝边草。
The frog in the well knows nothing of the great ocean.坐井观天。
The grass is greener on the other side.这山望着那山高。
The greatest talkers are always least doers.语言的巨人总是行动的矮子。
The higher up, the greater the fall.爬得高，摔得惨。
The leopard cannot change its spots.本性难移。 The more noble, the more humble.人越高尚，越谦虚。
The more wit, the less courage.初生牛犊不怕虎。
The outsider sees the most of the game.旁观者清。
The pen is mightier than the sword.笔能杀人。
The pot calls the kettle black.五十步笑百步。
There are spots in the sun.太阳也有黑点。
There are two sides to every question.问题皆有两面。
There is a skeleton in the cupboard.家家有本难念的经。
There is kindness to be found everywhere.人间处处有温情。
There is no general rule without some exception.任何法规均有例外。
There is no medicine against death.没有长生不老药。
There is no place like home.金窝银窝不如咱的狗窝。
There is no royal road to learning.书山有路勤为径，学海无涯苦作舟。
The style is the man.字如其人。
The tongue is not steel, yet it cuts.人言可畏。
The water that bears the boat is the same that swallows it up.水能载舟，亦能覆舟。
The wise man knows he knows nothing, the fool thinks he knows all.清者自清，浊者自浊。
The wolf has a winning game when the shepherds quarrel.螳螂捕蝉，黄雀在后。
The world is a ladder for some to go up and others to go down.世界如阶梯，有人上有人下。
The world is but a little place, after all.海内存知己，天涯若比邻。
Think twice before you do.三思而后行。
Things at the worst will mend.否极泰来。
Time and tide wait for no man.时不我待。
Time cures all things.时间是医治一切创伤的良药。
Time flies.光阴似箭。
Time is money.时间就是金钱。
Time lost cannot be won again.时光流逝，不可复得。
Time past cannot be called back again.时间不能倒流。
Time tries all.路遥知马力，日久见人心。
Tit for tat is fair play.人不犯我，我不犯人；人若犯我，我必犯人。
To err is human.人非圣贤，孰能无过。
To know everything is to know nothing.什么都知道，一如什么都不知道。
To know oneself is true progress.人贵有自知之明。
Tomorrow never comes.我生待明日，万事成蹉跎。
Too much familiarity breeds contempt.过分熟悉会使人互不服气。
Too much knowledge makes the head bald.学问太多催人老。
Too much liberty spills all.自由放任，一事无成。
Too much praise is a burden.过多夸奖，反成负担。
To save time is to lengthen life.节约时间就是延长生命。
Touch pitch, and you will be defiled.常在河边走，哪有不湿鞋。
Troubles never come singly.福无双至，祸不单行。
Truth never grows old.真理永存。
Turn over a new leaf.洗心革面，改过自新。
Two dogs strive for a bone, and a third runs away with it.鹬蚌相争，渔翁得利。
Two heads are better than one.一个好汉三个帮。
Two of a trade seldom agree.同行是冤家。
Two wrongs do not make a right.别人错了，不等于你对了。
Unity is strength.团结就是力量。
Unpleasant advice is a good medicine.忠言逆耳利于行。
Until all is over one's ambition never dies.不到黄河心不死。
Venture a small fish to catch a great one.吃小亏占大便宜。
Virtue is fairer far than beauty.美德远远胜过美貌。
Walls have ears.小心隔墙有耳。
Wash your dirty linen at home.家丑不可外扬。
Water dropping day by day wears the hardest rock away.滴水穿石。
Wealth is nothing without health.失去健康，钱再多也没用。
We know not what is good until we have lost it.好东西，失去了才明白。
Well begun is half done.好的开始，是成功的一半。
We never know the worth of water till the well is dry.井干方知水可贵。
We shall never have friends if we expect to find them without fault.欲求完美无缺的朋友必然成为孤家寡人。
We should never remember the benefits we have offered nor forget the favor received.自己的好事别去提，别人的恩惠要铭记。
Wet behind the ears.乳臭未干。
Whatever you do, do with all your might.不管做什么，都要一心一意。
What is learned in the cradle is carried to the grave.儿时所学，终生难忘。
What's done cannot be undone.生米煮成熟饭了。
What's lost is lost.失者不可复得。
What we do willingly is easy.愿者不难。
When in Rome, do as the Romans do.入国问禁，入乡随俗。
When everybody's somebody then nobody's anybody.人人都伟大，世间没豪杰。
When sorrow is asleep, wake it not.伤心旧事别重提。
When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions.新仇旧恨，齐上心头。
When the fox preaches, take care of your geese.黄鼠狼给鸡拜年，没安好心。
When wine is in truth, wit is out.酒后吐真言。
Where there is a will, there is a way.有志者事竟成。
Where there is life, there is hope.留得青山在，不怕没柴烧。
Where there is smoke, there is fire.事出有因。
While the priest climbs a post, the devil climbs ten.道高一尺，魔高一丈。
Who chatters to you, will chatter of you.搬弄口舌者必是小人。
Whom the gods love die young.好人不长命。
Wise man have their mouths in their hearts, fools have their hearts in their mouths.智者嘴在心里，愚者心在嘴里。
Work makes the workman.勤工出巧匠。
You cannot burn the candle at both ends.蜡烛不能两头点，精力不可过分耗。
You cannot eat your cake and have it.鱼与熊掌，不可得兼。
You can take a horse to the water but you cannot make him drink.强扭的瓜不甜。
You may know by a handful the whole sack.由一斑可知全貌。
You never know what you can till you try.是驴子是马，拉出来遛遛。 检举 回答人的补充 2009-08-10 14:49 There is no royal road to learning. 学习没有捷径While the prospects are bright, the road has twists and turns.前途是光明的，道路是曲折的。Man proposes, but God disposes.谋事在人，成事在天。Whatever you do, do with all your might.不管做什么，都要一心一意 Genius is nothing but labor and diligence. 天才不过是勤奋而已。
What is learned in the cradle is carried to the grave.儿时所学，终生难忘。A man becomes learned by asking questions. 不耻下问才能有学问。
All things are difficult before they are easy. 凡事总是由难而易。
Care and diligence bring luck. 谨慎和勤奋才能抓住机遇。
Confidence in yourself is the first step on the road to success. 自信是走向成功的第一步。
Custom makes all things easy. 有个好习惯，事事皆不难。
Doing is better than saying. 与其挂在嘴上，不如落实在行动上。
Do nothing by halves. 凡事不可半途而废。
Eat to live, but not live to eat. 人吃饭是为了活着，但活着不是为了吃饭。
Every man has his faults. 金无足赤，人无完人。
Every man is the architect of his own fortune. 自己的命运自己掌握。
Every minute counts. 分秒必争。
No cross, no crown. 不经历风雨，怎么见彩虹。
No pleasure without pain. 没有苦就没有乐。
No pains, no gains. 没有付出就没有收获。
No rose without a thorn. 没有不带刺的玫瑰。
One eyewitness is better than ten hearsays. 百闻不如一见。
Observation is the best teacher. 观察是最好的老师。
Nothing is difficult to the man who will try. 世上无难事，只要肯登攀。
B. 中文搞笑英语翻译
常见搞笑翻译如下：
1、The king is awalys lucky 王老吉
2、Open water room. 开水间。
3、know is know noknow is noknow 知之为知之，不知为不知。
4、American Chinese not enough 美中不足
5、heart flower angry open 心花怒放
6、go past no mistake past 走过路过，不要错过
7、as far as you go to die 有多远，死多远！
8、If you want money,I have no;if you want life,I have one! 要钱没有，要命一条
9、you me you me 彼此彼此
10、seven up eight down 七上八下
11、love who who 爱谁谁
12、no three no four不三不四
13、morning three night four 朝三暮四
14、red face konw me 红颜知己
15、ten three point 十三点
16、no care three seven two ten one 不管三七二十一
17、You don’t bird me, I don’t bird you.你不鸟我，我也不鸟你。
18、You ask me,I ask who？你问我，我去问谁？
拓展资料
1、英汉翻译时不能英汉直译，以免造成上面的笑话。
2、翻译是在准确、通顺的基础上，把一种语言信息转变成另一种语言信息的行为。翻译是将一种相对陌生的表达方式，转换成相对熟悉的表达方式的过程。其内容有语言、文字、图形、符号和视频翻译。
C. 要一个超级搞笑的英语笑话带中文翻译，高中水平
Two Pieces of Cake
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
两块蛋来糕源
汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗？
妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧！
Mother: Mary, why do you yell and scream so much? Play quietly like Eddie. See, he doesn't make a sound.
Mary: Of course he doesn't. Mom, it's part of the game we are playing. He is Daddy coming home late, and I'm you.
妈妈：玛丽，你为什么这样大喊大叫的？ 为什么不能像艾迪那样安安静静的玩儿呢？你看艾迪一声儿都不出。
玛丽：妈妈，艾迪当然不会出声了，因为我们俩正在玩爸爸回家迟到的游戏呢，他扮演爸爸，我扮演你。
D. 英语谚语搞笑翻译
when pig can fly
当猪会飞的时候
意思是：猴年马月
E. 短的，非常好笑的英语笑话，带翻译
The
little
boy
did
not
like
the
look
of
the
barking
dog.
"It's
all
right,"
said
a
gentleman,
"don't
be
afraid.
Don't
you
know
the
proverb:
Barking
dogs
don't
bite?"
"Ah,
yes,"
answered
the
little
boy.
"I
know
the
proverb,
but
does
the
dog
know
the
proverb,
too?"
狗也知道这个谚语吗？
一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”
一些趣味问答
Q:
What's
the
difference
between
a
monkey
and
a
flea?
A:
A
monkey
can
have
fleas,
but
a
flea
can't
have
monkeys.
猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？
Q:
How
can
you
most
irritate
a
farmer?
A:
By
treading
on
his
corn?
如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。
Q:
Which
is
the
strongest
creature
in
the
world?
A:
The
snail.
It
carries
its
house
on
its
back.
因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？
Q:
What
do
people
do
in
a
clock
factory?
A:
They
make
faces
all
day.
一看到make
faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。
Q:
How
do
you
stop
a
sleepwalker
from
walking
in
his
sleep?
A:
Keep
him
awake.
怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk
in
his
sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。
F. 急需一些英语的常用谚语或者是中文译英文的谚语
Action is the proper fruit of knowledge.行动是知识的巧果。
· A creaking door hangs long on its hinges.户枢不蠹。
· A crafty knave needs no broker.狡猾的流氓，不需居间人。
· A covetous man is good to none but worse to himself.贪婪的人对别人毫无好处，对自己却坏处更大。
· A contented mind is perpetual feast.知足常乐。
· A constant guest is never welcome.久住非佳宾，常来不欢迎。
· A common danger causes common action.同仇敌忾。
· A cock is valiant on his own nghill.夜郎自大。
· A close mouth catches no flies.病从口入，祸从口出。
· A clear fast is better than a dirty breakfast.宁为清贫，不为浊富。
· A clear conscience laughs at false accusations.白日不做亏心事，夜半敲门心不惊。
· A clear conscience is a sure card.光明磊落，胜券在握。
· A clear conscience is a soft pillow.问心无愧，高枕无忧。
· A clean hand wants no washing.身正不怕影子斜。
· A cheerful wife is the joy of life.快乐的妻子是生活的乐事。
· A change of work is as good as a rest.调换一下工作是很好的休息。
· Accidents will happen.天有不测风云。
· A cat may look at a king.猫也有权晋见国王。
· A candle lights others and consumes itself.蜡烛焚自身，光亮照别人。
· A burnt child dreads the fire.一朝被蛇咬，十年怕井绳。
· A burden of one磗 choice is not felt.自己选的担子不嫌重。
· Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.相聚爱益切，离别情更深。
· A borrowed cloak does not keep one warm.借来的斗篷不暖身。
· A book that remains shut is but a block.有书闭卷不阅读，无异是一块木头。
· A book is the same today as it always was and it will never change.一本好书今天如此，将来也如此，永不改变。
· A blind man will not thank you for a looking-glass.秋波送盲，白费痴情。
· A blind man who leans against a wall imagines that it磗 the boundary of the world.坐井观天。
· A bit in the morning is better than nothing all day.略有胜於全无。
· A bird may be known by its song.什麽鸟唱什麽歌。
· A bird is known by its note, and a man by his talk.闻其歌知其鸟，听其言知其人
· A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.双鸟在林不如一鸟在手。
· A beggar磗 purse is bottomless.乞丐的钱袋是无底洞。
· A bargain is a bargain.达成的协议不可撕毁。
· A bad workman quarrels with his tools.拙匠常怨工具差。
· A bad thing never dies.坏事传千年。
· A bad padlock invites a picklock.开门揖盗。
· A bad custom is like a good cake, better broken than kept.坏习惯像鲜馅饼，分食要比保存好。
· A bad custom is like a good cake, better broken than kept.坏习惯像鲜馅饼，分食要比保存好。
· A bad conscience is a snake in one磗 heart.做贼心虚。
· A bad conscience is a snake in one磗 heart.做贼心虚
· A bad compromise is better than a good lawsuit.吃亏的和解也比胜诉强。
· A bad bush is better than the open field.有胜於无。
· A bad beginning makes a bad ending.恶其始者必恶其终。
· No wisdom like silence智者寡言
· Necessity knows no law铤而走险
· Many hands make light work人多好办事
· Don磘 play the goat不要胡闹
· They’re a barrel of laughs他们很搞笑
· This movie was just a hype这部电影完全是在炒作
· the shortest straw下下签
· The news came as a bombshell这个消息犹如晴天霹雳
· feeling low意气消沉
· These are more than old wives?tales这些可不是无稽之谈
· That’ll save your skin那可帮你度过难关
· Every bad has some good 坏事情也有好的一面
· Some things rub them the wrong way他们被惹怒了
· Stay put停住不动
· to fly off the handle突然生气、发怒
· He is really on the ball他真的思路很敏捷
· got savoir faire言行得体
· He has never rested on his laurels他从不满足目前的成就
· Jump down someone’s throat生气地批评
· put a roof over one’s head找个地方安顿
· faced the music报应
· blinded with science无言以对
· Off one’s rocker缺乏理智
· old goat老古板（通常指年长者）
· Welcome！It’s lovely to see you欢迎！见到你真高兴！
· What’s gotten into you？你怎么了？
· Coffee kept them on the go咖啡使他们充满活力；
· Shine on搁在一旁；
· Monkey（around）with乱动；
· I think I get the drift我知道了；
· get the drift明白，了解
· The meeting will start at 10 o碿lock sharp会议十点准时开始；
· like taking candy from a baby形容某事易如反掌
· Home is where the heart is家是心之所在
· From the word go 从头到尾；
· They help make it less of a dog磗 life他们帮忙改善生活；
· Half-baked 不成熟的
· bend the rules at times网开一面
· Spill one’s guts说出实情
· For heaven磗 sake！老天！表示惊奇或愤怒的感叹语
· Fly-by-night不可靠的，不可信任的
· Nervous wreck紧张，激动
· Pull through脱险，渡过难关
· Thumb through 匆匆的阅读
Better an open enemy than a false friend. 明枪易躲，暗箭难防.
Better are small fish than an empty dish. 有胜于无.
Better be alone than in bad company. 交损友不如无友.
Better be out of the world than out of fashion. 不合潮流不如脱离尘世.
Better be poor than wicked. 宁可做穷人，不要做坏人.
Better be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. 宁为犬首，不作狮尾.
Better be the head of an ass than the tail of a horse. 宁为驴头，不为马尾.
Better deny at once than promise long. 轻诺必寡信.
Better die with honour than live with shame. 与其忍辱偷生，不如光荣而死.
Better early than late. 及早不及晚。
Better eye sore than all blind. 眼痛总比瞎眼好.
Better go to bed supperless than rise in debt. 宁可饿肚子，切莫去借债.
Better good neighbours near than relations far away. 远亲不如近邻.
Better half an egg than empty shell. 半只蛋也比空壳好.
Better is the neighbour's hen than mine. 人莫知其苗之硕.
Better late than never. 迟做总比不做好.
Better lose a jest than a friend. 宁可不说一句俏皮话，以免得罪朋友们.
Better lose the saddle than the horse. 吃小亏占大便宜.
Better master one than engage with ten. 精通一事胜于会十事.
Better one-eyed than stone-blind. 独眼总比全瞎好.
Better poor with honour than rich with shame. 穷得光荣，胜过富得可耻.
Better say nothing than nothing to the purpose. 与其说话不中肯，不如一言不发好.
Better some of a pudding than none of a pie. 聊胜于无.
Better the foot slip than the tongue trip. 宁可滑跤，不可失言.
Better to ask the way than go astray. 问路总比迷路好。
Better to do well than to say well. 说得好不如做得好.
Better unlearned than ill-learned. 学而不化，不如不学。
Better wear out than rust out. 与其闲散不如忙碌.
Better wit than wealth. 智力胜于财富.
Better without gold than without friends. 宁可没有金钱，不可没有朋友。
Between friends all is common. 朋友之间不分彼此.
Between the cup and the lip a morsel may slip. 功亏一篑.
Between two stools one falls to the ground. 脚踏两头要落空.
Beware beginnings. 慎始为上.
Beware of a man of one book. 不要与一个有专业知识的人争论.
Beware of a silent dog and still water. 警惕无声之狗会咬人，平静之水会覆舟.
Beware of him who regards not his reputation. 要谨防不重自己名誉的人.
Big mouthfuls ofter choke. 贪多嚼不烂.
Bind the sack before it be full. 做事应适可而止.
Birds of a feather flock together. 物以类聚，人以群分.
Birth is much, but breeding is more. 出身固然重要，教养更且重要.
Bite off more than one can chew. 贪多咽不下.
Bite the hand that feeds one. 恩将仇报.
Bitter pills may have wholesome effects. 良药苦口利于病.
G. 谁有搞笑的英语文章最好有中文对照!
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living.The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree.The city man said to the farmer, "I see that your pig likes apples, but isn't that quite a waste of time?"The farmer replied, "What's time to a pig?"
一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?"
One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.
Girl: Father, I have sinned.
Preacher: What did you do, little girl?
Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a son of a Bitch.
Preacher: Why? What did he do to you?
Girl: He touched my breast.
Preacher: You mean like this? (The guy did it.)
Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes.
Preacher: That's no reason to call him that.
Girl: But he also took off my cloth.
Preacher: You mean like this? (He did it again.)
Girl: Yes, that's what he did.
Preacher: That's still no reason to call him that.
Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what...
Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this? (And you-know-what)
Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, that's what he did...
Preacher: My dear girl, that's still no reason to call him a...
Girl: But he had AIDS!!
Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!
Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父亲在哪儿？
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”
哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”
The poor husband
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
可怜的丈夫
“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”
Does the dog know the proverb, too?
The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
狗也知道这个谚语吗？
一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”
参考资料：http://..com/question/23510460.html?si=3
H. 求几则关于幽默的名人名言，中英文 不是要幽默的，是要关于幽默的。
幽默是真正的民主（罗·安·约翰逊）
●自由产生诙谐，诙谐也产生自由（让·保尔·里希特）
●幽默是生活波涛中的救生圈（拉布）
●幽默乃是尊严的肯定，又是对人类超然物外的胸襟之明证（罗曼尼·葛瑞）
●幽默是绝不肯正经其事的荒谬感（乌锡尔）
●幽默是藏身于笑话之后的严肃（约·韦斯）
●幽默带来悟力和宽容，冷嘲则带来深刻而不友善的理解（阿格尼斯·雷普利尔）
●总有人注定要因某个玩笑而受苦（赫兹里特）
●幽默与严肃互为验石，因为不愿接受善意的玩笑，其中必有疑处，而经不住审度的玩笑也一定是智慧（高尔克亚）
●幽默是表明工人对自己事业具有信心并且表明自己占着优势的标志（恩格斯）
●探求如何在一切事物前发出笑声和从一切事物中寻找出可笑之处，这两者之间存在着天渊之别（舍夫茨别利）
●任何虚假的庄严，都会在幽默面前被剥去伪状（维吾尔族）
●幽默可谓对生活不调合部分善意的考虑以及艺术的表现……而幽默的根本则是人性善良的一面（英·李卡克）
●幽默是多么艳丽的服饰，又是何等忠诚的卫士！它永远胜过诗人和作家的智慧；它本身就是才华，它能杜绝愚昧（司各特）
●可以说，诙谐幽默是人们在社交场上所穿的最漂亮的服饰（萨克雷）
●幽默被公正地誉为最佳诗才（托·卡莱尔）
●缺乏幽默感的人不能算是很完善的人（柯勒律治）
●你可以假装严肃，却无法假装诙谐（萨夏·吉特里）
●无稽之谈比非凡的机智更能使我们发出笑声，因为无稽之谈更适合于我们，更符合我们的天性（德·瓦卢瓦）
I. 麻烦好友们给我找一篇好幽默，英文的，大约60—100个单词。或找两条英文的名言谚语，别太长，谢谢！
I'm Glad
A teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making
others glad. "Now, children," said she , "has anyone of you
ever made someone else glad?"
"Teacher,"said a small boy,"I made someone glad yesterday."
"Well done. Who was that?"
"My granny."
"Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad."
" I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three
hours. Then I said to her, 'Granny, I'm going home,' and she
said, 'Well, I'm glad'!"
我很高兴
一个老师在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。“现在，孩子们，”她说：“你们当中有谁让别人高兴过？”
“我，老师，”一个小男孩说：“昨天我就使别人高兴过。”
“做得好，是谁呢？”
“我奶奶。”
“好孩子。现在告诉我们，你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。”
“是这样的，老师。我昨天去看她，在她那儿呆了三个小时。然后我跟她说：‘奶奶，我要回家了。’她说：‘啊，我很高兴！’”
Every dog has its day.
指富贵无常，凡人皆有得意的时候。
（一个潦倒的人，以前也可能风光过，做人要厚道，不能看低别人。）
活学活用：
— love me, love my dog. 爱屋及乌（打狗就是欺主了）
— Don't wake a sleeping dog. 切莫打草惊蛇，不要生事。
— walk the dog everyday. 每日带狗散步。
— dog leash 狗链； dog collar 狗项圈
A good conscience is a soft pillow.
不做亏心事，不怕鬼叫门。
活学活用：
conscience
A clear conscience laughs at false accusation.
[谚] 只要问心无愧， 旁人的指责可一笑置之。
A clear conscience is a sure card.
[谚] 只要问心无愧， 旁人的指责可一笑置之。
A good conscience is a constant feast.
[谚] 问心无愧， 高枕无忧。
A good conscience is a soft pillow.
[谚] 问心无愧， 高枕无忧。
A guilty conscience is a self -accuser.
[谚]做贼心虚。
A guilty conscience needs no accuser.
[谚]做贼心虚。
A quiet conscience sleeps in thunder.
[谚]没做亏心事， 不怕鬼叫门。