英文搞笑话剧

❶ 8人演的英语搞笑话剧

我也是从Arnold Lobel的 “ The Crickets” 找到灵感. 你们可选择唱不同的圣诞歌,也可就选一首来唱. http://www.41051.com/xmaslyrics/

人物: Narrator: It’s Christmas time. B is rehearsing Christmas songs in the yard for his School Chorus.
A---在睡觉, B---在窗外唱歌.他后来引来众人.
场景: A在屋里.(摆张桌子,和椅子,趴在桌子上睡)
B: (clear his throat, starts singing) I wish you Merry Christmas , I wish you Merry Christmas, I wish you Merry Christmas and a happy New Year. I wish…

A: (wakes up) what is that noise? (Pretends to open the window)
B: What did you say? I can not hear you and sing at the same time?
A: I want to sleep. I don’t want any singing.
B: What did you say? You want more singing? I will find a friend.
Narrator: B calls a friend C to join him.
B and C:(sing)
Jingle bells
jingle bells
jingle all the way!
O what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh……
A: (shouts) I want you to stop singing! You are giving more!(go back to sleep)
B: What did you say? You want more singing? We will find another friend.
Narrator: So B and C call for another friend D.
B and C and D:(sing):
Jingle bells
jingle bells
jingle all the way!
O what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh……

A: (shouts and shakes one hand) you must stop singing. I am tired. I can not take much more. (Sleeps)
B: What did you say? You want much more singing? We will find many friends.
Narrator: So B and C and D found more friends to join them.
B and C and D and a group of friends: (sing)
Jingle bells
jingle bells
jingle all the way!
O what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh……
A: (shouts and shakes two hands) Stop! Your singing is too loud!
B: loud? Yes, We can sing loud.
Narrator: So they sing very loud.(sing)
Jingle bells
jingle bells
jingle all the way!
O what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh……

A: (shouts) Please! I want to sleep! I wish that you would all go away!
B: Go away? Why didn’t you say so in the first place?
Narrator: so the children go away and they will sing in another place.
All the children bow to the audience and leave the stage.
A: (goes back to sleep)
The end

❷ 急求一份搞笑的英文话剧时间十分钟左右

开机后，看到windows
10
logo，下面有个圆圈在转的时候，数5
秒。然后直接按下电源键关回机。对答于台式机，如果机箱上有“重启按键”，也可以直接按重启键，但有的用户可能需要直接断开电源。
如此重复2~3次，当再次开机的时候，就会进入如下图的界面：

鼠标点击右下角“查看高级修复选项”，即可进入win10的re
模式。在win10的re模式中的
疑难解答
里，可以让你“重置此电脑”或者“回到上一个系统”。

1.重置此电脑
作用：把windows
10系统全自动的重新安装一次，可以选择是否保留现有的软件，应用和资料。

2.回退到以前的版本（在疑难解答的高级选项中）
是指通过“升级”方式，安装win10的，可以直接回到升级前的系统。比如从win7升级到win10的，回退到
win7.（会保留原有系统的所有软件应用和资料）
您可以自行选择是尝试重新安装一次win10来解决现在的故障，或者放弃win10返回原来的系统。

❸ 6人搞笑英语话剧剧本加翻译

《孔雀东南飞》（英文搞笑话剧）
本文来自: 恒星英语学习网( 详细出处参考：
焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort)
焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)
太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC)
Prologue
(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)
J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小声)whilemy
wifeisWuSong.
(指着上台处的门大声道)I’mnotafraidofyou!
(内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’mafraidofwhom?
-hood.Sheisbraverthanme,
.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender
thanme.Butsheisnot!!
(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J)
MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下)
Act1
(序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)
JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!
(对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?
L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’mhere!What’supmum?
JM:I’“mymostbeautifulgracefuland
dearestmother-in-law”.
L:OK.-in-law,what’sup?
JM:.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so
lazy……
L:But……
JM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall
daylong,cookingandwashing.
and……
JM:!
L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)Goandaskyour
son.I’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)

❹ 搞笑的英语话剧有哪些

Text(正文):

A Brother Like That
A friend of mine named Paul received an automobile from his brother as a Christmas present. On Christmas Eve when Paul came out of his office, a street urchin was walking around the shiny new car, admiring it.
"Is this your car, Mister?" he said.
Paul nodded. "My brother gave it to me for Christmas." The boy was astounded. "You mean your brother gave it to you and it didn’t cost you nothing? Boy, I wish . . ." He hesitated.
Of course Paul knew what he was going to wish for. He was going to wish he had a brother like that. But what the lad said jarred Paul all the way down to his heels.
"I wish," the boy went on, "That I could be a brother
like that."
Paul looked at the boy in astonishment, then impulsively he added, "Would you like to take a ride in my car?"
"Oh yes, Id love that."
After a short ride, the boy turned with his eyes aglow, said, "Mister, would you mind driving in front of my house?"
Paul smiled a little. He thought he knew what the lad wanted. He wanted to show his neighbors that he could ride home in a big automobile. But Paul was wrong again. "Will you stop where those two steps are?" the boy asked.
He ran up the steps. Then in a little while Paul heard him coming back, but he was not coming fast. He was carrying his little crippled brother. He sat him down on the bottom step, then sort of squeezed up against him and pointed to the car.
"There she is, Buddy, just like I told you upstairs. His brother gave it to him for Christmas and it didn’t cost him a cent. And some day Im gonna give you one just like it . . . then you can see for yourself all the pretty things in the Christmas windows that Ive been trying to tell you about."
Paul got out and lifted the lad to the front seat of his car. The shining-eyed older brother climbed in beside him and the three of them began a memorable holiday ride. That Christmas Eve, Paul learned what Jesus meant when he said: "It is more blessed to give . . . "
内容：
哥哥的心愿
圣诞节时，保罗的哥哥送他一辆新车。圣诞节当天，保罗离开办公室时，一个男孩绕着那辆闪闪发亮的新车，十分赞叹地问：
"先生，这是你的车？"
保罗点点头："这是我哥哥送给我的圣诞节礼物。"男孩满脸惊讶，支支吾吾地说："你是说这是你哥送的礼物，没花你一分钱？天哪，我真希望也能……"
保罗当然知道男孩他真想希望什么。他希望能有一个象那样的哥哥。但是小男孩接下来说的话却完全出乎了保罗的意料。
"我希望自己能成为送车给弟弟的哥哥。"男孩继续说。
保罗惊愕地看着那男孩，冲口而出地说："你要不要坐我的车去兜风？"
"哦，当然好了，我太想坐了！"
车开了一小段路后，那孩子转过头来，眼睛闪闪发亮，对我说："先生，你能不能把车子开到我家门前？"
保罗微笑，他知道孩子想干什么。那男孩必定是要向邻居炫耀，让大家知道他坐了一部大轿车回家。但是这次保罗又猜错了。"你能不能把车子停在那两个台阶前？"男孩要求道。
男孩跑上了阶梯，过了一会儿保罗听到他回来了，但动作似乎有些缓慢。原来把他跛脚的弟弟带出来了，将他安置在第一个台阶上，紧紧地抱着他，指着那辆新车。
只听那男孩告诉弟弟："你看，这就是我刚才在楼上对你说的那辆新车。这是保罗他哥哥送给他的哦！将来我也会送给你一辆像这样的车，到那时候你就能自己去看那些在圣诞节时，挂窗口上的漂亮饰品了，就象我告诉过你的那样。"
保罗走下车子，把跛脚男孩抱到车子的前座。兴奋得满眼放光的哥哥也爬上车子，坐在弟弟的身旁。就这样他们三人开始一次令人难忘的假日兜风。
那个圣诞夜，保罗才真正体会主耶稣所说的"施比受更有福"的道理。

❺ 英语话剧 五个人演的 最好搞笑

1 大臣（1）: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the prince-dancing ball. This night, our worshipful Prince Edward（这时，王子走了出来，向所有来宾鞠躬）will select the most beautiful and kindest girl to be his queen .Now, young girls, come to the front, please! （女孩子们走上前） 大臣（2）：（将头转向王子）Highness，how are they? Which one do you like? 王子: （皱起眉头）Mmm…I don’t think they are… (Cinderella suddenly comes in) 大臣们: （惊叹）Wow! How beautiful THAT girl is! （众来宾惊恐地回过头） 旁白：She's like a fairy. She's like an Angel. She's so lovely. She's like a princess. How pretty Cinderella is! 王子:(走上前，鞠躬) Pretty lady, may I be honored to dance with you? 灰姑娘: I'd love to.（握住王子的手，开始跳舞） (Music and dance) 旁白:Beautiful Cinderella and handsome Prince Edward are dancing. They fall in love. (12点的钟声猛然敲响了,敲了6下) 灰姑娘: Oh, it's time to go back. I must go now. I am sorry that I cannot dance with you any more, sir! 王子: Wait, miss, please wait! （追上去） 灰姑娘：(急忙地跑，掉了一只鞋)Good bye, sir! 王子: (拿起鞋)Pretty lady! Why are you leaving? I must find you!! Soldiers!！ 士兵们: Yes!! 王子: Take this shoe to every house and let all the young girls have a try tomorrow morning. You must find the girl for me. FAST! 士兵们: Yes, highness! 第四场布景：灰姑娘家的花园中 灰姑娘:（失去了魔法的帮助，变回了原样）Oh…He was gentle, he was handsome, oh! I cannot forget him… I love him! But I hadn’t found Prince Edward and danced with him yet… 鸽子: Cinderella, don’t you know? The man who danced with you was PRINCE EDWARD!! （猫和变回原样的狗点头附和） 灰姑娘:REALLY?? My goodness!! （捂住嘴巴，不敢相信的样子） Oops, I am sorry…I haven’t done the housework! Mum, Helen and Jenny will back soon! They will be angry! See you soon, buddies! （哼着小曲跳走了） 第五场布景：灰姑娘家 （士兵敲门） 士兵（3）:Good morning, madam. 后妈: Good morning. What’s the matter, sir? 士兵: Are there any young girls in this house, madam? 士兵（2）: The pretty lady lost her shoe in the palace. 士兵（3）: The prince wanted to find her and marry her. 后妈:（笑着说）Of course, sir, wait a minute!（往身后招招手，让女儿（1）过来） 后妈女儿（1）: （急急忙忙跑上前）Let me try. The shoe is mine.（说着把脚伸进鞋子） 士兵: No, It's not yours. It's too small for you.（把鞋子拿开） 后妈女儿（2）: （跳着大喊）It's mine. I AM the queen. Let me try it.（说着把脚伸进鞋子） 士兵（2）: No, it's not yours; it's too big for you.（再次把鞋子拿开） 后妈: Hey, sir, maybe it's mine. Let me have a try. （急忙想要去穿鞋子） 士兵（3）:（马上把鞋子拿走）Oh, please, it couldn't be YOURS. Are there any other girls in this house? 灰姑娘: Good morning, gentlemen, may I try it? （款款走来） 后妈 :You? That’s impossible! （大喊着，做出“快滚”的手势） 后妈女儿（1）: Look at yourself, PLEASE! （讥笑） 后妈女儿（2）: So dirty and so ugly! Please not to waste the solders’ time! （讽刺） 士兵: Oh, ladies, let her try! Prince Edward said that all the young girls should have a try. Here, young girl, try it on, please! （送上鞋） 灰姑娘:（轻轻把脚伸进去）Thank you! (试鞋,正好合适) 后妈和两个女儿：It couldn’t be Cinderella! It couldn’t be!! Maybe there’s something wrong, sir! （疯了一样大叫） 2 白:Long ago, there lived a girl. Her mather had died and her father had married again,His new wife had two daugters. They are so bad as their mother. The poor girl had to work day and night. She must sleep in the kitchen. She weared drity clothes. All of them called her cinders for Cinderella. However, we’ll show you a different play today. (灰姑娘昂首挺胸帅气十足地上场) 旁白：She is so strong, and smart. Especially she is good at sport. Now, she is running for the 100 meter race.(灰姑娘冲刺,旁边老师读秒:11’9) Now, she is playing basketball.(灰姑娘以一敌众,轻松灌篮) Now,she is practicing Chinese gongfu(灰姑娘打拳,对手倒) This is her----Cinderella 灰姑娘(怒,看旁白) :Do you finish? 旁白:Ok(结巴)continue, even she is perfect, she still can’t escape the poor life, Why? That is----- 继母(假装洗衣服) :How cold the water! I’m too old to do anything, My leg is so painful. (灰姑娘默,从继母手中拿过洗衣盆) (一姐将盆碗碰得乱响.灰姑娘默,从姐手中拿过盆碗) (一姐手持针线缝衣,刺手,尖叫—灰姑娘默,从姐手中拿过衣服) 第一幕 (灰姑娘在帮后母按摩肩膀) 二姐(奔入,扬动手中传单) :Mom, Mom, Look! There are some leaflets. I got them on the street. The King is having a party. The Prince will look for a wife. 一姐(托腮) :I must be choosen, I am the most beautiful girl in the world. 二姐(凭空跳舞) :No, Not you. I have the charming shape, I am the Queen. (两姐争吵起来,继母从女儿手中拿过传单,亲吻) 继母:Oh, baby. Stop. You two are the most beautiful girls in our country. He will probably choose one of you. Come on , make up yourself. We haven’t enough time!(瞪灰姑娘)Cinderella, what are you doing? Come here, help your sisters! 灰姑娘 :OK, I will. But, mom, can I go to the party tonight? I want to ------ (三人敛神) 一姐:Oh, my God! I forgot Tim’s homework. He gave us a lot of homework.. I can’t finish, what should I do ? 二姐(拿书,指,附和) :Oh, Yes, Yes. Look, execise A, excise B, excise C, excise D, excise E, Oh, planning tree, essay, study plan------(偷瞄灰姑娘,哭)Oh, my God! Oh 3 小狮子找食物 （I Am Hungry） 角色：雄狮、小狮、小白兔、小松鼠、小女孩。 道具：雄狮、小狮、小白兔、小松鼠头套、红萝卜、花生一把、苹果一个。 Act 1 雄狮：（怒吼）Roar, roar! I am the lion, the king of the forest. No one is stronger than me. Roar, roar! 小狮：Daddy! I’m hungry. 雄狮：You are big now. Be brave! Go and find your own food. 小狮：But, I don’t know how. 雄狮：Do it like me. Roar, roar! （怒吼） 小狮：（小声地）Roar, roar! 雄狮：Rush to the animals and bite them with your sharp teeth.（ 露出尖利的牙齿） Go and do it now. 小狮：Yes, daddy. Act 2 小白兔：（唱”Rabbit, R 693535747 19:39:38 abbit, Carrot Eater”） Rabbit, rabbit, carrot eater. He says there is nothing sweeter, Than a carrot everyday, Munch and crunch and run away. 小狮：Hi, rabbit! I am hungry. Roar, roar!（小声地） 小白兔：Do you want some carrots? 小狮：Yes, please. （小白兔递给小狮一根红萝卜） 小狮：Thank you. 小白兔：Carrots are the best food. 小狮：（吃了一口）Yuck! I don’t like it. Anyway, thank you, rabbit. （还红萝卜给小白兔） 小白兔：You are welcome. （边跳边唱”Rabbit, Rabbit, Carrot Eater” 离开） Act 3 小松鼠：（唱着”Found a Peanut”） Found a peanut. Found a peanut. Found a peanut 693535747 19:39:38 just now. Just now I found a peanut. Found a peanut just now. 小狮：Hi, squirrel! I am hungry. Roar, roar! （小声地） 小松鼠：Do you want some peanuts? 小狮：Yes, please. （小松鼠递给小狮一些花生） 小狮：Thank you. 小松鼠：Peanut is the best food. 小狮：（吃了一颗）Yuck! It’s too hard. I don’t like it. Anyway, thank you, squirrel. （将花生还给小松鼠） 小松鼠：You are welcome. （边走边唱”Found a Peanut”离开） Act 4 （小女孩边走边唱”Apple Round”） 小女孩：Apple round. Apple red. Apple juicy. Apple sweet. 4 Global warming A． Class begins, good afternoon everyone. B． C. D ：Good afternoon, teacher. A. First, I will ask you a question: What is the serious problem nowadays ? B. I think it’s the problem of environment pollution. A. It’s related to our correct answer. But it isn’t correct one. B. Is it the problem of population increasing? A. No. C. Oh. I got it. It’s global warming. A. Right! Global warming is one of the serious problems nowadays. Because…… B. Teacher. I have a question. It was very cold indeed this winter. I think it’s global cooling! A. You got the wrong concept. Global warming doesn’t only mean that the weather is getting hot, but also mean that the weather is out of control. So it will be sometimes very cold. B. Teacher. What causes “ global warming”? C. I know. Now people drive too many cars and the exhaust gases discharged by the cars and lorries pollute the air and also destroy the nature. It causes global warming. A. You are right. Do you know what will happen with the global warming? B. Yes. The ices in South Pole are going to be melted and at the time, many islands will be graally flooded with water. Human will have no places to live. C. Surely, we don’t want that will happen. A. What sould we do to stop “Global warming”? B. I think we can protect the environment from ourselves. We can plant trees C. When we are protecting the environment, we are saving ourselves. A. Ok. Students, we can’t only speak but not do later . Let us go planting trees. D. Oh, teacher! Tomorrow is March the twelfth, it’s tree-planting day! A. Yes! Now all of you know the importance of protecting the environment. B．C．D．Let us do our best to stop “Global warming” and make our earth a lovely homeland! A. That is good . I hope you all will be succeeded in protecting the environment. Now the class is over bye-bye students! B.C.D. good bye. Teacher.

❻ 搞笑英语话剧剧本

搞笑7人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
演员表：西门吹雪、叶孤城、花满楼、king、路人、上官雪儿
旁白
道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠
旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow .
Birds are dancing in the cold .
A man is walking along the street ,step by step .
Wind is coming in silence.
Another mysterious man approaches .
Y与X相遇．
X：oH ,I am sorry to knock you !
Y:, Never mind baby.
X:Excuse me， who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name?
Y:,I won’t change my name! no matter what happens. I’m the most famous——-YeGucheng. Who are you?
X:Iamximenchuixue.
Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue?the best MartialArts?
X:Great, you know me !Today is your dead date!
Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’t kill me! Let me go!
X:No, I must kill you !
Y:I don’t want to be killed. There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!
X:No way! Because we are fighting now ! you know ?
Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don’t force me!
X:Pardon!
(Y拿出一袋牛奶)
X抢过牛奶:milk, very good ! I like drinking it. How do you know that?
Y:please drink it!
X喝完牛奶:Thanks,
Y:Do you still want to kill me ?
X:Sure, must! Milk is milk.
Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very good ! very good ! I hope you will not forget what you said!?
X:I’m sure I won’t!
Y:I must give you a lesson ! If I don’t beat you this time, you’ll never behave properly ! 3-2-1!
X捂着肚子，蹲下（做痛苦状）：Oach,Oach !
Y大笑：HaHa……the milk is exceed the time limit
（一人路过，x起身跑过去）
X可怜状: excuse me! Help , help , Where is the washroom?please ,tell me .
Y:Oh,I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a corssing road!
X:Thanks,byebye.
Y:byebye (以胜利者的语气，转头,看见 花满楼)
Y:Who are you?
H:Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?
Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC” .
H惊讶:Now you are the best in the world !
Y:You are right !
H:Teriffic ! you are the one my king looking for ! do you want join in us? If you follow my king,he will give what you want.
Y:Yes,It’s very good.
H:Ok, follow me, Let’s go to see my king!
第二幕：无间道
H:My dearest ! let me introce yegucheng to you! （指Y） this is yegucheng.
K:sit down plese, yegucheng.
Y:excuse me,I have a question.will you give me what I want just if I follow you?
King:yes,I will.
Y:That’s good. Can you give me a MM ?
K:of couse.You are the one who has the similar taste with me! Hahaha……
Y:of course.
美女出场
M:hello，帅锅..
K: this is shangguanxueer.ok,now let’s have a ritual.
H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache , poor ,rich?
Y: Yes,I do.
K: Huamanlou, come . put the ring on his finger!（音乐停）
X唱着上:(看到戒指) this ring should be mine!
K:But who are you ? why should it belong to you?
Y急切: king! Dear king ! I must go now , my brother is looking for me.
X冷酷:yegucheng! Come here ! I want to tell you something!
Y抱X的腿:old brother ! Forgive me!
X:Forgive you? Why ?
Y: Once there was a chance before me , I lost it . If the god give me another chance, I’ll tell you “ I love you ” , If the remustbea limited period,I hope it is thousand year!
X:You shall cheat me ! all you did are wrong ! how can you tell me the lady’s “WC”!
Y:I like going lady’s WC .I……I……I think that you like what I like.(Y又拿出一袋牛奶)
X:milk?I love you.
K:Don’t say that “you love me”. I’ll kill you for you saying dirty word to me !
X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You—kill—-me?come, come…(X上去抓住K)
K:Fuck you. I must kill you!
X:How can you kill me? haha……
Y:Let me have a try! 3-2-1(X捂着肚子，蹲下)
M: oh,what happened?（看着X，做惊吓状）are you ok?（跑到西门吹雪身边）
Y :do you want to go to wc?
X:Yes,I……I…… do.
Y:haha, the milk was added 三聚氰胺 beyond standards.
M: you , stupid , bad behavior ! go away !
K; why ? why do you help him ! who actually are you ?
M: actually,I’m a spy sended by LuXiaofeng,and I fell in love with ximenchuixue.
K惊讶: !you—you—You are X’lover?
Y: do you know, you are the first person who cheated me ! I hate you .(轻声说)let me tell you,Xwill die.
M扑倒在X的身边：X,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope in the future and tomorrow is a good beginning !
K:what a moving story ! I was impressed !
Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !
M: life is a progress ,and it is delight that it needn’t resume !
(M忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，K吓跑.音乐《再见，警察》起)
Y痛苦状:I never anticipate you treat me by this ,why?tell me why?(Y死，音乐停)
（X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起）
M: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together .
X:go home ! ?
M:Tomorrow is another day ! even you have the last second to live ,you should be alive ,not only for me , but for our love.
X: promise me,you’ll get on well,and you’ll never let go.
M I promise . I will never let go（X死） ,
M: be alive !yeah , be alive ! be alive without ahendance !
—来自于网络

❼ 搞笑英语短剧6人

守株待兔（英语短剧） 剧本
你可以自己加几个角色~

（因为是搞笑，所以不必太拘谨。普通台词意思对即可。）

[开始。树）上台安静地屹立到舞台较后方。导演（范冰）走到台前]

导演：Action！[跑下台]

[农夫冷酷地上。]

农夫：I’m a farmer.（稍停顿）[走两步]A modern farmer.（掏出墨镜戴上）[冷酷地走两步，突然被绊了一跤，回头生气地踢了下绊自己的石头，继续保持冷酷]When I was yong,I studied in Nan~tong Middle School[掏出胸卡骄傲地展示给观众看，收起]！So I’m rich now！[开始展示名牌，边说边掏]Look！This is my modern mobile——Motorola WC 250！This is my Swatch!This my MP3!This is my shoes——ADI~DAS!This is… [不经意地掏出一个苹果]Oh,sorry. And look at this![从怀里掏出痒痒挠] Do U know what’s this？痒痒挠？No no no~~It’s my modern——锄头~！！[看下表]It’s time to do some farming！[开始弯下腰做出锄地的动作，锄了两下，突然] Oh yes!I think farming should be combined with music![掏出MP3戴上，开始很有激情地边锄地边唱]Farming farming,I’m farming!Farming should be combined with music~!Farming farming,I’m farming!Farming will be funny and easy~![边唱边锄边慢慢下台，把没用的道具拿走，把有用的道具准备在口袋里] [树走上前台]

树：I’m a tree!I can do many things!I can sing![做出疯狂摇滚歌手的动作，边做边唱：哼哼哈西！！！]I can dance![跳四小天鹅]I’m tall!And I’m Strong!IF you hit me,you will 挂掉！Oh?There comes a rabbit! [引导观众看兔子A)。树站回后台]

[兔子A上]

兔子A（一开始不知道状况。以为自己扮演周杰伦，所以很热情地上场跟观众打招呼）：Hey everybody,I’m Jay!I love U!I love Nantong![展示新专辑《十一月的肖邦》]Now let me sing one of my new songs to U！The name of the song is 《发如雪》！[清清嗓子正要唱，这时候导演（范冰）上]

导演：[拿手中纸筒狠狠打了下兔子A的头]What are U doing?! Now U are a rabbit,understand?![兔子A：Sorry sorry sorry] [导演边说边夺过《十一月的肖邦》。导演下台之前，看了下《十》] What’s this?[看了看，惊喜地]Oh!It’s mine！（很兴奋地拿着下场）

兔子A：OK,now I’m a rabbit. I just had my breakfast. Now I’m just walking around here. I think walking after meals is good for my health. [在场上转圈，悠闲散步]

[农夫继续锄地，边锄边上场，突然看见前面有个兔子]

农夫：（惊喜地）Lunch！[扔掉痒痒挠]I will catch it！ [偷偷摸摸地跟到兔子后面走]

[农夫跟在兔子后面。两个人走啊走。兔子突然回头。农夫假装看手表。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装看天气。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装打手机。两人继续走，兔子回头。这次农夫冷酷地把枪口对准了兔子。]

兔子A：Wahhhh~!（吓一跳）What’s this！

农夫：Hnnnn…！I will kill U for lunch!

兔子A：But your gun… [帮农夫把枪头调转过来（农夫一开始把枪对着自己）]

农夫：Thank you!

兔子A：My pleasure. （突然想起来农夫要杀自己） Wah~~~~~~ [兔子跑，躲到树后面，农夫追到树前]

农夫：Where~ to go? Haha!

[农夫开了一枪“砰”。兔子在树后惊慌躲闪，没被打到。树做出受伤中弹状。 农夫又开枪，同上。 农夫开始加快频率，火力密集地开枪。兔子开始时惊慌躲闪，躲着躲着跳起舞来。树继续痛苦中弹状。]

兔子A[自我陶醉中，边跳边说]You didn’t hurt me! You didn’t hurt me！

树：[痛苦万分地]But…U…Hurt me….[痛苦地慢慢挪动到兔子背后]

[兔子继续兴奋地跳舞。农夫停止开枪，走到兔子面前，看着它。 兔子猛然抬头发现]

农夫：Ah ha~! Bye bye ! [举枪对准兔子，开枪，没声音，看看枪，示意没子弹了。兔子见状，非常兴奋地大笑起来]

兔子A：Ha ha ha ha! You can’t kill me now！ [兴奋大笑，笑到抽筋，笑到后仰。突然头撞倒了后面的树] Wa ！[兔子晕两下~~ “我倒！” 倒地]

农夫：OH! [很兴奋地过去两个手指提起兔子]My lunch , I caught you !!! [想一下] But I’m still full now.Let me tie it to the tree and have a sleep.I will eat it after sleeping.[把兔子绑到树上。倒地睡到树旁边]

……

兔子A：[兔子很快醒了，看看四周，发现自己被绑了，很惊讶]Where am I? What happened?

树：[指着农夫]He caught you and wanted to eat you.

兔子A：What?! I must leave here! But how can I escape？[东张西望，看到农夫的手机]

[兔子不知不觉地把树杈移开，走到手机前看了看]咦？What’s this？[捡起来看]Oh,a mobile.[再看]It’s beautiful.[放回原处。 又自觉地把自己绑在树上。 突然想起来]A mobile！Maybe I can call some one to help me！ [又不知不觉地把自己放出来，那起手机] But how to use it？？？

树：[走上前]Let me tell U.Look,press this button![给兔子]

兔子A：Oh I see. [做出打电话的样子] 喂？

李咏：[上台，激情澎湃地] Hello！This is lucky fifty-two！[做出幸运52的手势]I’m Liyong！Now let’s start our first question！What’s the most probable relation between 康熙 and 雍正？ A. Husband and wife B.Teacher and student C.Waiter and costomer Answer me,please!

兔子A：（很冷漠地）Sorry， wrong number.[挂掉]

李咏：Answer me!Answer me! En..?喂？喂喂？[很郁闷地下台]

兔子A：Now let me call again.[拨打] 喂？

兔子B：喂？

兔子A：Hey Jackey！

兔子B：Hey tommy!

兔子A：How are you doing?

兔子B：Fine,thank you.And U?

兔子A：I’m fine too!How are your parents doing?

兔子B：They are fine,thank you.And U?

兔子A：They are fine,too!How is your uncle doing?

兔子B：He’s fine,thank you!And U?

兔子A：He’s fine , too!

兔子B：But why do you call me? If you want borrow some money from me…NO WAY!!!

兔子A：No no no!I’m in danger now!Come and help me!!!

兔子B：But where are you?

兔子A：I’m under a tree!

兔子B：[边打电话边在附近走，经过兔子A面前，两个人还没发现]What can you see around you?

兔子A：I see a rabbit ,rather like you!

兔子B：A rabbit…rather like me… OK! I’ll soon come!Wait for me! I will help you! [匆匆离开]

[兔子A 打完电话，小心翼翼地把手机放回农夫处，还很有礼貌地说了句“Thank you.” 然后又很自觉地把自己绑回了树上]

兔子A：Hahaha!My friend will come and save me,yeah! [兴奋过度，后仰，头又撞倒树上，昏眩中…“我晕！” 又晕了]

[兔子B上。]兔子B：I’m also rabbit！I’m clever! I’m brave ! And I’m strong! [展示肌肉] OH！My friend is here!Let me help him out! [费力地想把树枝（双臂）挪开，使了几次劲，还是不行] It’s too tight! I must think of a good way! [看到农夫扔掉的痒痒挠] Let’s see,what’s this！A 锄头！[装作打高尔夫球，试了试锄头手感]Oh,it’s nice.[走到树面前，正要砍]

树：Stop！！！What will you do?

兔子B：I will cut you down to save my friend.

树：O. [突然醒悟] What?! Cut me down?! Teachers told us that we should protect the environment! Understand?!

兔子B：Oh yes！You are right! [扔掉锄头] I have to think of another idea! [想了想] Oh!![灵感突来][看了看手表] Oh it’s time to do morning exercise ！Come on! [开始带头做早操。做着做着对树说“Follow me！” （企图让树动起来，两只手松开，这样就可以救出兔子A）树也开始跟着做起早操。 兔子B轻轻上前，想救出兔子A。但是树的广播操动作恰好都是会挡住营救的。兔子B狂汗… -_-b 广播操毕。树继续绑着兔子A]

兔子B：Why?! Maybe I need another idea. Oh!I’v got it！Music！ [音响放起泰坦尼克号主题曲高潮前奏。 兔子B抱住树，企图引导树像女主角一样张开双臂，放出兔子A。树渐渐陶醉，手缓缓松开。兔子B正要搭救同伴，突然兔子A两只手张开，成了女主角动作。树又抱住了兔子A的腰，成了男主角动作。树和A陶醉其中。B要唤醒A：“Wake up!Wake up!”

兔子A沉醉其中，完全不理它，还用脚踹走要救它的B：“Don’t disturb me！”继续陶醉。]

兔子B：（无奈ing…）Stop！！！（音乐停） （沮丧）I can’t save my friend…[掏出纸巾想要擦汗，带出10块钱，掉在地上]

树：Money！[一个箭步冲上去捡起钱，回到原位并且对着太阳验钞。]

兔子A：[看四周] I’m free!!!Oh yes,I’m free!Thank you,Jackey! [慢动作深情扑向兔子B] Jackey~~~~ [突然兔子B低头系鞋带。兔子A控制不住一下子撞在树上，晕两下说：“暴头！”死翘。] [兔子B见状冲上去，深情地搂住A：“Tommy!Tommy！”[伤心地俯下身子，紧紧抱住A]

[这时睡觉中的农夫突然一个翻身，又把B压在了下面]

兔子B：I…can’t….breath……I’m dying!!!! [也翘了]

农夫：[农夫这时候醒了。擦了下口水，看见两只兔子] En..?Two rubbits! I rememer I have caught just one?! Oh,maybe I drank too much.

[兴奋地一手提一只兔子，哼着小曲下场]

树：[还在验钞的树正在高兴，突然发现是假钞]A！It’s a fake！Wait for me！[追下去]

❽ 求英语搞笑话剧剧本。（6人，带翻译更高。）

《 荆珂刺秦王》
旁白(Aside )/介绍（Introction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman剑客 and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.
Action I
太子丹（上,掏出镜子梳头,做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众） I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?
阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming.
太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!
阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）
太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么,人才!然后拍阿三肩膀,做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.
太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?
阿三：Yes.
Action II
（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）
荆轲
Are you Li mochou?
李莫愁
Yes.
荆轲
OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.
李莫愁
Are you challenging me?
荆轲
Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意
李莫愁
Come on!
音乐起
两人冲上前来
“人在江湖漂啊,哪有不挨刀啊,一刀砍死你啊,两刀砍死你啊.”
李莫愁倒地
荆轲大笑
李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?
荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么,不需要么,需要么?）
李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.
荆轲再次大笑
太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?
荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?
太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?
荆柯：Sure!
太子丹：How are you?
荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?
太子丹晕倒
荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!
太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please?
荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸,上面写着：
To be or not to be, that's a question.
阿三：Hero,we need your help.
荆柯：I am busy now!
太子丹：You can get a lot of money.
荆柯：I am very busy now!
阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?
荆柯：I am very very busy now!
阿三(手指上场的美女,激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.
荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!
阿三：What? What’s the TCM?
荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.
阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?
观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .
太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new proct of Unilever China.
荆柯（激动）：Slimming减食疗法 tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t rece my weight.
阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧?难道你真的想要吗……

荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.
太子丹与阿三（撞胯,击掌）Yeah!

❾ 白雪公主搞笑英语话剧剧本

白雪公主》英语话剧剧本

SW-白雪公主 Q-皇后 M-魔镜 H-猎人P-白马王子 D-小矮人 音乐起，旁白

A long time ago, In a beautiful kingdom, there lived a young king and queen, the people loved them so much; the queen died while giving birth to a girl, her name was Snow White, She was a beautiful princess. Year passed, the king got married again, The people didn’t love the new queen, because she was cruel. One day, In the king’s palace: ----白雪出场

S.w: My name is Snow white , I am a beautiful princess, I miss my mother so much, Where is my mother ? Where is my mother ?

音乐起，皇后、魔镜出场

Q: I am a queen , I’m very beautiful , Where is Mirror ? Mirror , Mirror on the wall , who’s the most beautiful ?

M: Snow white is much more beautiful than you !

Q: Hunter, go kill Snow white .

猎 人 出 场

H: Yes, my queen

音乐起，猎人追赶白雪，公主惊慌出逃

S.w: Help me ,help me, please, please !

白雪顺利脱逃后

S.w: I am tried and hungry, oh, there is a little house , I will eat a little and lie down.

音乐起，7个小矮人出场，

D: 1\Look, somebody ate my food----

2\Somebody drank my water----

3\Someone is sleeping now----

4\What a beautiful girl!----

小矮人睡觉----音乐起公主先醒了----小矮人醒了----对话

5\How do you do?

S.w: How do you do? My name is Snow white … Nice to meet you!

D:（齐说）Nice to meet you ,too----

6\ welcome to our house!----

7\Would you like to live here?

S.W: My pleasure, thank you very much!

D: Let’s go out for our work, bye-bye, Snow white.

皇后、魔镜出场

Q: Mirror, mirror on the wall , who’s the most beautiful?

M: Snow white is much more beautiful than you!

Q: What ? Snow white is not dead ? Hahaha, I got a good idea!

音乐起，皇后扮演老太太出场，对话

Q: Apple ,apple, beautiful apple,

S.w: Hello, Good morning grandma!

Q: pretty girl ,would you like a bite?

S.w: Oh, yes ,thank you grandma!

白雪公主咬一口后倒地

Q: The girl is dead! Hahaha…

小矮人出场、围着公主哭

Snow white wake up, wake up…

音乐起，小矮人引着王子出场

P: A beautiful girl! She shall be my queen!

王子唤醒公主，公主醒了

P：Wake up ! Wake up , my queen !

S.w: Thank you for your help !

P: My pleasure !

音乐起，小矮人、公主、王子跳起欢快的舞