高中笑话
1. 高中生喜欢的笑话集锦
记得有一哥们结婚,哥几个去帮忙。……不想割…… 婚礼现场:主持人请一妹子上台说:“回今天是你好朋友答大喜的日子,你说点什么吧!”
妹子激动的说:“就点个糖醋鲤鱼和红烧排骨吧!” 妹子!你的世界我真不懂啊!来砸场子的吧!
2. 适合给高中生讲的笑话
1:一经理给客户放PPT的时候突然蹦出黄抄色图片,大伙都惊呆了!沉默半响,然后经理淡定的来了句:还困吗?--不困咱继续!
2:刚才来了个美女顾客,洗完头后我问她需要什么发型。美女说:“你们店里音响里放的那个明星.....是谁来着,就她的发型。” 店里在放Lady gaga的歌,我想了一下,难度实在太大,于是把歌换成了李代沫的…………
3:
女儿: 妈!
妈妈:我有那么老吗?
女儿: 姐!
妈妈:说吧,啥事呢?
女儿:我没钱了……
妈妈:找你妈要去啊!
3. 适合高中励志笑话简短搞笑还励志
儿子背上有点痒,叫老婆挠挠,老婆轻轻的摸摸, 儿子让老婆重一点,老婆说 自己就这么点力气。
儿子当时就爆发了:那你揍我的时候下手咋那么重呢?
一脸黑线..
4. 谁能给我个很好笑的英语笑话,高中阶段的
搞笑的英语小笑话1:Expensive Price
Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.
Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.
Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.
昂贵的代价
牙科医生:对不起,夫人,为给您的儿子拔牙,我得收二十五美元。
母亲:二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀?
牙科医生:是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤,他都吓跑四位病人了
搞笑的英语小笑话2:I Wasn't Asleep
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conctor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"
"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.
"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."
"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."
我没有睡着
当一群妇女上车之后,车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了,他担心这个人会坐过站,就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他,说:“先生,醒醒!”
“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。
“没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀?”
“我知道,我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”
搞笑的英语小笑话3:The poor husband
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
可怜的丈夫
“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难,”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说,“她问我一个问题,然后自己回答了,过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”
Who's More Polite?
A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.
谁更有礼貌?
一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。瘦子说他更有礼貌,因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。但是胖子认为他更有风度,因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时,总有两位女士能坐下。
搞笑的英语小笑话4:Let Dog in Hotel
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."
一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信,“我非常希望带着我的狗,它很干净很有教养,你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”
旅馆主人立即回了封信,“我经营旅馆很多年了,狗从没偷过毛巾,床单, 餐具,或者墙上的画。我也从没有在半夜因为狗喝醉胡闹而赶走它,狗也从不不付帐就跑掉。实际上我们非常欢迎您的狗来我们旅馆,如果它为您担保,也欢迎您来。
搞笑的英语小笑话5:Intelligent son
One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter, the son took the letter , the father then remembered didn't write the address and addressee's name on the envelope.
After the son comes back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter in the mail box?"
"Certainly"
"You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?"
"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope."
"Then why you didn't take it back?"
"I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee, is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!"
聪明的儿子
有一天,父亲让八岁的儿子去寄一封信,儿子已经拿着信跑了,父亲才想起信封上没写地址和收信人的名字。
儿子回来后,父亲问他:“你把信丢进邮筒了吗?” “当然”“你没看见信封上没有写地址和收信人名字吗?”
“我当然看见信封上什么也没写”“那你为什么不拿回来呢?”
“我还以为你不写地址和收信人,是为了不想让我知道你把信寄给谁呢!”
搞笑的英语小笑话6:Put your feet in
The school girl was sitting with her feet streched far out into the aisle ,and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her. "Mary !" called the teacher sharply. "Yes,Madam?" questioned the pupil , "Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!"
把脚放进去
一个女学生坐在座位上,嘴里起劲地嚼着口香糖,脚却伸到课桌间的走道里,被老师发现了。“玛丽!”老师严厉地叫她。“什么事,老师?”这女学生问。“把口香糖从嘴里拿出来,把脚放进去。”
搞笑的英语小笑话7:I Wasn't Asleep
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conctor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"
"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.
"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."
"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."
我没有睡着
当一群妇女上车之后,车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了,他担心这个人会坐过站,就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他,说:“先生,醒醒!”
“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。
“没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀?”
“我知道,我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”
搞笑的英语小笑话8:The poor husband
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
可怜的丈夫
“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难,”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说,“她问我一个问题,然后自己回答了,过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”
搞笑的英语小笑话9:Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父亲在哪儿?
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看,”哥哥说,“这些画多漂亮呀!”
“是啊,”弟弟说道,“可是在所有这些画中,只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢?”
哥哥想了会儿,然后解释道:“很明显,他当时正在画这些画呗。”
搞笑的英语小笑话10:Does the dog know the proverb, too?
The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
狗也知道这个谚语吗?
一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你知道这条谚语吗:‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道吗?”
5. 高中英语笑话
To Be Polite
One day,Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner.As soon as the waiter took out two steaks,Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.
Tom wasn't happy about that:"When are you going to learn to be polite?"
Bill:"If you had the chance to pick first,which one would you pick?"
Tom:"The smaller piece,of course."
Bill:"What are you whining about then?The smaller piece is what you want,right?"
学会礼貌
一天,比尔和汤姆去餐馆吃饭.当服务员端上两份牛排时,比尔迅速地为自己拿了比较大的那块.
汤姆对此很不开心:“你什么时候能学会礼貌?”
比尔说:“如果让你先拿,你会拿哪个?”
汤姆说:“当然是小的那个.”
比尔:“那你还抱怨什么?小的那个不就是你想要的,不是吗?”
6. 适合高中生的幽默段子
幽默段子坊 这个号我关注2年了,一年365天天天更新,而且内容很新,很逗,陪我度过了枯燥的上班时间,印象深度的那句话是,关注我,开启你的快乐源泉。挺适合未成年人观看的
7. 求在高中笑话
新学复期伊始,我们制高年级学生去车站迎接新同学。
一男生见一小女生站在一个大箱子旁不知所措,便主动上前帮她提起箱子。不料箱子重逾千斤,男生又不好意思放下箱子,只好勉力支撑。
才走了几步,那女生便说:背不动就滚吧。男生一听此言,登时怒从心头起,放下箱子,怒视着她。
那女生愣了几秒钟,才满脸通红地指着箱子的底部说:我指的是轮子。
2
大一入学时,同寝室的相聚到一起,都喜欢聊聊天,吹吹牛。我们寝室也不例外。
话说,开学第一天,我们寝室的一到齐,几人就围坐一起,准备开聊……刚坐下,一个人就“不失时机”地放了一个屁……我们都有点尴尬,不知说些什么好。
还是室长灵机一动,拍着“放屁者”的肩膀亲切地问道:“听口音不像本地人呀……”
8. 有哪些高中生才懂得段子值得分享
有哪些高中生才懂的段子,那大概就是文言文中的那个段子了。比如说,在怼对方的时候,常常会说一句,非人哉。在我看来没有一些文化水平的是听不懂的。这大概就是高中生才懂得了段子吧。
9. 要一个超级搞笑的英语笑话带中文翻译,高中水平
Two Pieces of Cake
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
两块蛋来糕源
汤姆:妈妈,我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?
妈妈:当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!
Mother: Mary, why do you yell and scream so much? Play quietly like Eddie. See, he doesn't make a sound.
Mary: Of course he doesn't. Mom, it's part of the game we are playing. He is Daddy coming home late, and I'm you.
妈妈:玛丽,你为什么这样大喊大叫的? 为什么不能像艾迪那样安安静静的玩儿呢?你看艾迪一声儿都不出。
玛丽:妈妈,艾迪当然不会出声了,因为我们俩正在玩爸爸回家迟到的游戏呢,他扮演爸爸,我扮演你。