十万个冷笑话全集

『陆』 求十万个冷笑话全集的MP3

请采纳我的问题1、一个女生前一天晚上得到男朋友的订婚戒指，但竟没有一个同学注意到，令她忿忿不平。到下午大家坐着谈天的时候，她突然站起来大声说：“哎呀，这里真热呀，我看我还是把戒指脱下来吧。”2、女主人把女佣叫到面前问她：“你是否怀孕了？”“是啊！”女佣回道。“亏你还说得出口，你还没有结婚，难道不觉得害羞吗？”女主人再次训。“我为什么要害羞，女主人你自己不也怀孕了吗？”“可是我怀的是我丈夫的！”女主人生气地反驳。“我也是啊！”女佣高兴地附和。3、一个人骑摩托车喜欢反穿衣服，就是把口子在后面扣上，可以挡风。一天他酒后驾驶， 翻了，一头栽在路旁。警察赶到：警察甲：好严重的车祸。警察乙：是啊，脑袋都撞到后面去了。警察甲：嗯，还有呼吸，我们帮他把头转回来吧。警察乙：好.....一、二使劲，转回来了。警察甲：嗯，没有呼吸了.......4、在一条七拐八拐的乡村公路上，因为时常发生车祸，所以常常有一些鬼故事发生，有一天晚上，有一个出租车司机看见路边有一个长发披肩，身着白衣的女人向他招手，因为这个司机没有见过鬼，所以大胆的停下来让她上车了，这一路上,司机虽然不信有鬼，心里也毛毛的，所以时常从后视镜看后面的女人，开着开着，突然司机发现那个女人不见了！司机吓了一大跳，赶紧踩了一个刹车！只见那个女人满脸是血，表情狰狞。司机吓的牙直打颤。突然那女人开口了：“你会不会开车啊！我低头系个鞋带你突然一刹车我把鼻子都撞破了……”5、一个病人去看病，医生检查了他，皱着眉头说：“您病得太严重了，恐怕不会活多久了。” 病人：“求您告诉我我还能活多久？” 医生：“十……” 病人着急地问：“十什么？十年？？十个月？？？十天？？？？？” 医生：“十，九，八，七，六，五……”6、老师：“你能说一些18世纪科学家共同特点吗？”学生：“能，他们都死了。”7、犀粪蜣和蚊子谈恋爱，蜣问蚊子是做什么工作的，蚊子说：“护士，打针的。”蜣一拍大腿：“缘分呐，我是中药局搓药丸的…”8、一非洲人住在某一宾馆。夜半，起火，不明原因。非洲人见状顾不了那么许多，光着身子就跑出去了。消防员见状惊呼：“我的妈呀！都烧的糊了吧区的了还能跑那么快！”9、一个人想出国考察，但必须得到老总批准。于是他向老总请示，老总给了他一张字条，上面写着：“Go ahead”。 那人想：“Go ahead=前进，老总是批准了。”于是他开始打点行李。 一个同事见到了他问：“你在做什啊？？”他说：“我准备出国考察，老总批准了，给我写了‘Go ahead’。” 同事一见条就乐了：“咱们老总根本就没批准！！咱老总的英语水平你还不知道，他这是在说去个头！”10、牧师对买了他马和马车的农夫说：“这匹马只能听懂教会的语言，叫"感谢上帝"它就跑;叫"赞美上帝"它才停下。”农夫将信将疑，他试着喊了一声感谢上帝，那匹马立刻飞奔起来，越跑越快。一只跑到悬崖边上惊恐的农夫才想起让它停下来的口令“赞美上帝”。果然，马停下来了。死里逃生的农夫长出一口气：“感谢上帝………”我打了很久，请采纳1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \"oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.\" 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \"are you pregnant?\" \"Yes!\" The maid answered. Export \"kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\" The hostess training again. \"Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\" \"But I conceive is my husband!\" The hostess retorted angrily. \"Me too!\" The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good... One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing... 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nose...\" 5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said: \"you too serious ill, I'm afraid I won't live much longer.\" Patient: \"please tell me how long will I live?\" Doctor: \"ten...\" Patient anxiously asked: \"what? Ten years?? Ten months??? Ten days?????\" Doctor: \"ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...\" 6, teacher: \"can you say some 18 th-century scientists common characteristics?\" Student: \"yes, they are all dead.\" 7, rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquito is to do what work, the mosquito said: \"nurse, give or take an injection.\" Qiang a clap a thigh: \"the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub pills...\" 8, the africans live in a hotel. In the midnight, a fire, unknown reason. Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran out. Firefighters said exclaimed: \"my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\" 9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by boss. So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read: \"Go ahead\". The man thought, \"Go ahead = progress, boss is approved.\" So he started to packing. A colleague to see he asked: \"what are you doing?\" He said: \"I'm ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me 'Go ahead'.\" Colleague of joy at the sight of article: \"let's boss haven't approved!!!!! Our boss English don't you know, he is said to head!\" 10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said, \"this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\" thank god \"it ran; called\" praise god \"it didn't stop.\" Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and faster. A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it stop password \"praise god\". Sure enough, the horse stopped. Close the farmer grows a sigh: \"thank god.........\"I played for a long time, please

『柒』 求十万个冷笑话第一季、第二季动画全集MP4

只有第一季的http://share.dmhy.org/topics/view/346605_GB_1280x720_x264_aac.html，回mp4格式答

『捌』 求十万个冷笑话大电影第一部的资源！

你好，十万个冷笑话资源网页链接《十万个冷笑话》的责编魔恩表示，当时内制作动画版容的创作动机，是希望把国内一些虽然画面不够好，但是有足够的创意与新意的好故事展现给并不熟悉动漫领域的人们，让更多的人知道我们也是有好的原创漫画故事的。不希望好作品被埋没，争取更大程度的展现作品的魅力，并保持原作的初衷，是制作《十万个冷笑话》动画的中心与出发点。

『玖』 十万个冷笑话第二季的动画目录

超人篇（2013年12月31日）
拉完翔变身的大便超人，对抗强劲对手的独特方法。 世界末日4+一代宗师篇（2014年1月29日）
男主角独特的杀龙方式，黄飞鸿与霍元甲的口语较量。 哪吒3（2月28日播）
哪吒自杀力保陈塘关，哪吒与李靖感人的父子亲情。 世界末日5（3月30日播）
鸟不拉屎大王半裸呆萌出场，福禄小金刚拖戏炫酷登场。 一代宗师篇+金银斧头篇（4月30日播）
黄飞鸿与霍元甲的搞基武斗，河神与年轻樵夫的神奇故事。（本动画目录由混迹迩轩编写提供，并非官方编写。） 世界末日6
鸟不拉屎大王输掉比赛，末日少年毁灭地球。 西游1+舌尖上的中原
世界末日篇画上句号，新番来了，此次这群毫无节操的人为我们带来的是“西游篇”，不过你们的配音都肿么回事？没钱请人了嘛？喂！整片叽叽喳喳或者咩咩...羊驼都比你们负责任啊喂！ 西游2+十冷公益小广告
孙悟空向菩提祖师学七十二变防三灾，获赡D五六五六筋斗云。结尾为丢手绢改版。 西游3
孙悟空回花果山，又过水帘洞，打败侵占地盘的怪兽。 爱情故事
跨越星球与种族的爱情故事 有妖气电视
商品介绍：电视，实则一个套着电视头套的紧身衣变态男。 女娲造人
女娲造人，女人是萝莉，男人则是坨土球。人类繁衍遭阻！关键时刻，福禄小金刚及其儿子小刚刚拯救人类！

『拾』 更新快的站！ 十万个冷笑话全集百度影音 , 要高清的哈

已经出来第二集了，话说这时间跨越真大啊，苦等第三集
希望采纳哦......