英语小报笑话

㈠ 英语的幽默故事4~5个,要有中文翻译(写在手抄报上的,希望笑话能正经点.)

已解决问题 收藏 求英语幽默故事。 10 标签：幽默 故事,英语,幽默 英语英语。幽默幽默。故事故事。
然后要有点难度的阿~
不要太常见的欧~~
还有要带翻译。 . 回答:11 人气:11 解决时间:2009-04-11 13:14 检举 I'm Trying to Stop It "Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it." “孩子，你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了吗？” “没有，老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进，一个耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。” “I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .” “Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!” “Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” “对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。” “20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。” “是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。” TWO： Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example? John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short. 老师：我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理。现在，谁给我举个例子？ 约翰：嗯，在夏天天都长，在冬天天都短。 The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?" "I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.". 教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时，他的话题又来了：“让我向进化论者提个问题——如果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴，那么现在尾巴到哪里去了？” “我来试试看，”一位老太太说。 “该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧。”

㈡ 英语小报幽默笑话大全

男孩对女孩说：“亲爱的，我爱你！我愿意为你遮风、挡雨，不让你受一点风吹日晒。”
女孩说，“为你受一点风吹也是值得的。”
男孩说：“不，一点也不行！”
女孩非常感动，然后把挡在电风扇前的男孩踹开了

㈢ 求英语手抄报的内容:英文小故事\小笑话

A man took a pair of shoes to a shoe repair shop and said to the shoemaker, "I'd like you to repair these shoes for me, please."

"Certainly, sir," the shoemaker said.

"When will they be ready?" the man asked.

"I'm a bit busy, but they'll be ready for you on Thursday." he said.

That's fine," the man said, and left the shop.

The next morning he received a letter, offering him a job in another country. Within 24 hours he was on an airplane to his new job.

Twenty years passed and he returned to his hometown.

He remembered his shoes.

"They were a good pair of shoes," he thought. "I wonder if the shoemaker is still there and still has them. I'll go and see.扰He was pleased to see that the shoemaker was still in the same shop ,although he was an old man by now.

"Good morning," he said to him. "Twenty years ago, I brought in a pair of shoes to be repaired. Do you think you've still got them?"

"Name?" the old shoemaker asked.

"Smith," the man said.

"I'll go and see. They may be out back.

The shoemaker went out to the back of his shop -and a few minutes later returned ,carrying the pair of shoes.

"Here we are," he said. "One pair of brown shoes to be repaired. I'm a bit busy now, but they'll probably be ready on Thursday."
.快速服务

一个人把一双鞋子拿到一家鞋店，并对修鞋匠说，“请帮我修这双鞋子。”

“当然可以，先生，”鞋匠说。

“什么时候能修好？”那个人问。

“我有点忙，但到星期四我会修好鞋子的。”他说。

“很好，”那人说，并离开了那家店。

第二天早上，他收到一封信，提供他一份在国外的工作。24小时内，他登上飞机去接受那份新工作。

二十年过去了，他回到了故乡。

他记起了那双鞋。

“那是一双好鞋，”他想，“我想知道鞋匠是否还在那儿，是否还有那双鞋。我要去看看。”

他很高兴看到鞋匠还在那家店里，虽然他已很老了。

“早上好，”他对鞋匠说，“二十年前，我拿了一双鞋子来修。你记得还有那双鞋吗？”

“名字？”老鞋匠问。

“史密斯，”那人回答。

“我去瞧瞧，或许在后面呢。”

鞋匠回到店的后面去，几分钟后又回来了，手里提着那双鞋子，“在这呢，”他说，“一双棕色的鞋子要修。我有点忙，但可以到星期四把鞋子修好。”

㈣ 做关于笑话的英语手抄报可以用什么图片

儿子:爸爸,给我讲个故事.
爸爸:好吧.从前,有只青蛙......
儿子:不,我要听历史故事.
爸爸:好把.在宋朝的时候,有一只青蛙......

㈤ 谁能提供6年级英语小学生手抄报要有好笑的笑话和短文，两样都【带翻译】，

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

（笑话）

㈥ 英语小报，五年级。一些英语小笑话，短文

以下回答是否解决了您的疑问
五年级英语笑话
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. \"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?\"
\"I gave it to a poor old woman,\" he answered.
\"You're a good boy,\" said the mother proudly. \"Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?\"
\"She is the one who sells the candy.\"
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, \"Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?\"
摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？”

㈦ 英语小笑话 和小报 少点

An Awkward Situation

One of the guests turned to a man by his side and criticized the woman who was singing.
"What a terrible vioce! Do you know she is?"
"Yes," was the answer,"she is my wife."
"Oh,l beg your pardon. Of course her vioce isn't bad. I wonder who wrote the awful song."
"l did," was the answer.

翻译：
尴尬的处境

一位客人扭身对他旁边的一个男人批评正在唱歌的那个女人。
“多糟糕的嗓子。你知道她是谁么？”
“知道，”那人回答，“她是我妻子。”
“噢，对不起。当然她的嗓子不坏，但歌曲写的不好。也不知道是谁写的这么蹩脚的歌曲。”
“是我。”那人回答说。

美文：

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
对于世界而言，你是一个人；但是对于某个人，你是他的整个世界。
Don’t waste your time on a man/woman, who isn’t willing to waste their time on you.
不要为那些不愿在你身上花费时间的人而浪费你的时间。
Don’t try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
不要着急，最好的总会在最不经意的时候出现。

㈧ 英语小笑话三十字，急需做手抄报

Good Boy

Little robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜内的容老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”

㈨ 英语手抄报冷笑话35字

He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗?
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿?
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"且话偻蚰昴?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

2. The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
鱼网
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。

3. The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."
新老师
9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。
"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗?" 妈妈问。
"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"