英文搞笑話劇

❶ 8人演的英語搞笑話劇

我也是從Arnold Lobel的 「 The Crickets」 找到靈感. 你們可選擇唱不同的聖誕歌,也可就選一首來唱. http://www.41051.com/xmaslyrics/

人物: Narrator: It』s Christmas time. B is rehearsing Christmas songs in the yard for his School Chorus.
A---在睡覺, B---在窗外唱歌.他後來引來眾人.
場景: A在屋裡.(擺張桌子,和椅子,趴在桌子上睡)
B: (clear his throat, starts singing) I wish you Merry Christmas , I wish you Merry Christmas, I wish you Merry Christmas and a happy New Year. I wish…

A: (wakes up) what is that noise? (Pretends to open the window)
B: What did you say? I can not hear you and sing at the same time?
A: I want to sleep. I don』t want any singing.
B: What did you say? You want more singing? I will find a friend.
Narrator: B calls a friend C to join him.
B and C:(sing)
Jingle bells
jingle bells
jingle all the way!
O what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh……
A: (shouts) I want you to stop singing! You are giving more!(go back to sleep)
B: What did you say? You want more singing? We will find another friend.
Narrator: So B and C call for another friend D.
B and C and D:(sing):
Jingle bells
jingle bells
jingle all the way!
O what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh……

A: (shouts and shakes one hand) you must stop singing. I am tired. I can not take much more. (Sleeps)
B: What did you say? You want much more singing? We will find many friends.
Narrator: So B and C and D found more friends to join them.
B and C and D and a group of friends: (sing)
Jingle bells
jingle bells
jingle all the way!
O what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh……
A: (shouts and shakes two hands) Stop! Your singing is too loud!
B: loud? Yes, We can sing loud.
Narrator: So they sing very loud.(sing)
Jingle bells
jingle bells
jingle all the way!
O what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh……

A: (shouts) Please! I want to sleep! I wish that you would all go away!
B: Go away? Why didn』t you say so in the first place?
Narrator: so the children go away and they will sing in another place.
All the children bow to the audience and leave the stage.
A: (goes back to sleep)
The end

❷ 急求一份搞笑的英文話劇時間十分鍾左右

開機後，看到windows
10
logo，下面有個圓圈在轉的時候，數5
秒。然後直接按下電源鍵關回機。對答於台式機，如果機箱上有「重啟按鍵」，也可以直接按重啟鍵，但有的用戶可能需要直接斷開電源。
如此重復2~3次，當再次開機的時候，就會進入如下圖的界面：

滑鼠點擊右下角「查看高級修復選項」，即可進入win10的re
模式。在win10的re模式中的
疑難解答
里，可以讓你「重置此電腦」或者「回到上一個系統」。

1.重置此電腦
作用：把windows
10系統全自動的重新安裝一次，可以選擇是否保留現有的軟體，應用和資料。

2.回退到以前的版本（在疑難解答的高級選項中）
是指通過「升級」方式，安裝win10的，可以直接回到升級前的系統。比如從win7升級到win10的，回退到
win7.（會保留原有系統的所有軟體應用和資料）
您可以自行選擇是嘗試重新安裝一次win10來解決現在的故障，或者放棄win10返回原來的系統。

❸ 6人搞笑英語話劇劇本加翻譯

《孔雀東南飛》（英文搞笑話劇）
本文來自: 恆星英語學習網( 詳細出處參考：
焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)劉蘭芝Lunch(Lforshort)
焦母Johnny』smother(JMforshort)劉母Lunch』smother(LMforshort)
太守之子Mayor』sson(MSforshort)強盜Burglars(ABandC)
Prologue
(J作被打狀跑上台,內砸出一卷紙筒,J被打中,狼狽不堪)
J:EverybodysaysthatI』mhenpecked,butinfact,I』masstrongasatiger,(小聲)whilemy
wifeisWuSong.
(指著上台處的門大聲道)I』mnotafraidofyou!
(內砸出一臉盆,J接住當成盾牌護著頭)Then,I』mafraidofwhom?
-hood.Sheisbraverthanme,
.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender
thanme.Butsheisnot!!
(內又砸出一卷紙筒,擊中J)
MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下)
Act1
(序幕結束時,JM作竊聽狀)
JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!
(對門內)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?
L(扎著圍裙,拿著鍋鏟,從門內跳出來):I』mhere!What』supmum?
JM:I』「mymostbeautifulgracefuland
dearestmother-in-law」.
L:OK.-in-law,what』sup?
JM:.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so
lazy……
L:But……
JM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall
daylong,cookingandwashing.
and……
JM:!
L(生氣地揮動著鍋鏟):Oh,youwantagrandson,don』tyou?(開始解圍裙)Goandaskyour
son.I』mleaving!(扯下圍裙,扔在JM的臉上,下)

❹ 搞笑的英語話劇有哪些

Text(正文):

A Brother Like That
A friend of mine named Paul received an automobile from his brother as a Christmas present. On Christmas Eve when Paul came out of his office, a street urchin was walking around the shiny new car, admiring it.
"Is this your car, Mister?" he said.
Paul nodded. "My brother gave it to me for Christmas." The boy was astounded. "You mean your brother gave it to you and it didn』t cost you nothing? Boy, I wish . . ." He hesitated.
Of course Paul knew what he was going to wish for. He was going to wish he had a brother like that. But what the lad said jarred Paul all the way down to his heels.
"I wish," the boy went on, "That I could be a brother
like that."
Paul looked at the boy in astonishment, then impulsively he added, "Would you like to take a ride in my car?"
"Oh yes, Id love that."
After a short ride, the boy turned with his eyes aglow, said, "Mister, would you mind driving in front of my house?"
Paul smiled a little. He thought he knew what the lad wanted. He wanted to show his neighbors that he could ride home in a big automobile. But Paul was wrong again. "Will you stop where those two steps are?" the boy asked.
He ran up the steps. Then in a little while Paul heard him coming back, but he was not coming fast. He was carrying his little crippled brother. He sat him down on the bottom step, then sort of squeezed up against him and pointed to the car.
"There she is, Buddy, just like I told you upstairs. His brother gave it to him for Christmas and it didn』t cost him a cent. And some day Im gonna give you one just like it . . . then you can see for yourself all the pretty things in the Christmas windows that Ive been trying to tell you about."
Paul got out and lifted the lad to the front seat of his car. The shining-eyed older brother climbed in beside him and the three of them began a memorable holiday ride. That Christmas Eve, Paul learned what Jesus meant when he said: "It is more blessed to give . . . "
內容：
哥哥的心願
聖誕節時，保羅的哥哥送他一輛新車。聖誕節當天，保羅離開辦公室時，一個男孩繞著那輛閃閃發亮的新車，十分贊嘆地問：
"先生，這是你的車？"
保羅點點頭："這是我哥哥送給我的聖誕節禮物。"男孩滿臉驚訝，支支吾吾地說："你是說這是你哥送的禮物，沒花你一分錢？天哪，我真希望也能……"
保羅當然知道男孩他真想希望什麼。他希望能有一個象那樣的哥哥。但是小男孩接下來說的話卻完全出乎了保羅的意料。
"我希望自己能成為送車給弟弟的哥哥。"男孩繼續說。
保羅驚愕地看著那男孩，沖口而出地說："你要不要坐我的車去兜風？"
"哦，當然好了，我太想坐了！"
車開了一小段路後，那孩子轉過頭來，眼睛閃閃發亮，對我說："先生，你能不能把車子開到我家門前？"
保羅微笑，他知道孩子想干什麼。那男孩必定是要向鄰居炫耀，讓大家知道他坐了一部大轎車回家。但是這次保羅又猜錯了。"你能不能把車子停在那兩個台階前？"男孩要求道。
男孩跑上了階梯，過了一會兒保羅聽到他回來了，但動作似乎有些緩慢。原來把他跛腳的弟弟帶出來了，將他安置在第一個台階上，緊緊地抱著他，指著那輛新車。
只聽那男孩告訴弟弟："你看，這就是我剛才在樓上對你說的那輛新車。這是保羅他哥哥送給他的哦！將來我也會送給你一輛像這樣的車，到那時候你就能自己去看那些在聖誕節時，掛窗口上的漂亮飾品了，就象我告訴過你的那樣。"
保羅走下車子，把跛腳男孩抱到車子的前座。興奮得滿眼放光的哥哥也爬上車子，坐在弟弟的身旁。就這樣他們三人開始一次令人難忘的假日兜風。
那個聖誕夜，保羅才真正體會主耶穌所說的"施比受更有福"的道理。

❺ 英語話劇 五個人演的 最好搞笑

1 大臣（1）: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the prince-dancing ball. This night, our worshipful Prince Edward（這時，王子走了出來，向所有來賓鞠躬）will select the most beautiful and kindest girl to be his queen .Now, young girls, come to the front, please! （女孩子們走上前） 大臣（2）：（將頭轉向王子）Highness，how are they? Which one do you like? 王子: （皺起眉頭）Mmm…I don』t think they are… (Cinderella suddenly comes in) 大臣們: （驚嘆）Wow! How beautiful THAT girl is! （眾來賓驚恐地回過頭） 旁白：She's like a fairy. She's like an Angel. She's so lovely. She's like a princess. How pretty Cinderella is! 王子:(走上前，鞠躬) Pretty lady, may I be honored to dance with you? 灰姑娘: I'd love to.（握住王子的手，開始跳舞） (Music and dance) 旁白:Beautiful Cinderella and handsome Prince Edward are dancing. They fall in love. (12點的鍾聲猛然敲響了,敲了6下) 灰姑娘: Oh, it's time to go back. I must go now. I am sorry that I cannot dance with you any more, sir! 王子: Wait, miss, please wait! （追上去） 灰姑娘：(急忙地跑，掉了一隻鞋)Good bye, sir! 王子: (拿起鞋)Pretty lady! Why are you leaving? I must find you!! Soldiers!！ 士兵們: Yes!! 王子: Take this shoe to every house and let all the young girls have a try tomorrow morning. You must find the girl for me. FAST! 士兵們: Yes, highness! 第四場布景：灰姑娘家的花園中 灰姑娘:（失去了魔法的幫助，變回了原樣）Oh…He was gentle, he was handsome, oh! I cannot forget him… I love him! But I hadn』t found Prince Edward and danced with him yet… 鴿子: Cinderella, don』t you know? The man who danced with you was PRINCE EDWARD!! （貓和變回原樣的狗點頭附和） 灰姑娘:REALLY?? My goodness!! （捂住嘴巴，不敢相信的樣子） Oops, I am sorry…I haven』t done the housework! Mum, Helen and Jenny will back soon! They will be angry! See you soon, buddies! （哼著小曲跳走了） 第五場布景：灰姑娘家 （士兵敲門） 士兵（3）:Good morning, madam. 後媽: Good morning. What』s the matter, sir? 士兵: Are there any young girls in this house, madam? 士兵（2）: The pretty lady lost her shoe in the palace. 士兵（3）: The prince wanted to find her and marry her. 後媽:（笑著說）Of course, sir, wait a minute!（往身後招招手，讓女兒（1）過來） 後媽女兒（1）: （急急忙忙跑上前）Let me try. The shoe is mine.（說著把腳伸進鞋子） 士兵: No, It's not yours. It's too small for you.（把鞋子拿開） 後媽女兒（2）: （跳著大喊）It's mine. I AM the queen. Let me try it.（說著把腳伸進鞋子） 士兵（2）: No, it's not yours; it's too big for you.（再次把鞋子拿開） 後媽: Hey, sir, maybe it's mine. Let me have a try. （急忙想要去穿鞋子） 士兵（3）:（馬上把鞋子拿走）Oh, please, it couldn't be YOURS. Are there any other girls in this house? 灰姑娘: Good morning, gentlemen, may I try it? （款款走來） 後媽 :You? That』s impossible! （大喊著，做出「快滾」的手勢） 後媽女兒（1）: Look at yourself, PLEASE! （譏笑） 後媽女兒（2）: So dirty and so ugly! Please not to waste the solders』 time! （諷刺） 士兵: Oh, ladies, let her try! Prince Edward said that all the young girls should have a try. Here, young girl, try it on, please! （送上鞋） 灰姑娘:（輕輕把腳伸進去）Thank you! (試鞋,正好合適) 後媽和兩個女兒：It couldn』t be Cinderella! It couldn』t be!! Maybe there』s something wrong, sir! （瘋了一樣大叫） 2 白:Long ago, there lived a girl. Her mather had died and her father had married again,His new wife had two daugters. They are so bad as their mother. The poor girl had to work day and night. She must sleep in the kitchen. She weared drity clothes. All of them called her cinders for Cinderella. However, we』ll show you a different play today. (灰姑娘昂首挺胸帥氣十足地上場) 旁白：She is so strong, and smart. Especially she is good at sport. Now, she is running for the 100 meter race.(灰姑娘沖刺,旁邊老師讀秒:11』9) Now, she is playing basketball.(灰姑娘以一敵眾,輕松灌籃) Now,she is practicing Chinese gongfu(灰姑娘打拳,對手倒) This is her----Cinderella 灰姑娘(怒,看旁白) :Do you finish? 旁白:Ok(結巴)continue, even she is perfect, she still can』t escape the poor life, Why? That is----- 繼母(假裝洗衣服) :How cold the water! I』m too old to do anything, My leg is so painful. (灰姑娘默,從繼母手中拿過洗衣盆) (一姐將盆碗碰得亂響.灰姑娘默,從姐手中拿過盆碗) (一姐手持針線縫衣,刺手,尖叫—灰姑娘默,從姐手中拿過衣服) 第一幕 (灰姑娘在幫後母按摩肩膀) 二姐(奔入,揚動手中傳單) :Mom, Mom, Look! There are some leaflets. I got them on the street. The King is having a party. The Prince will look for a wife. 一姐(托腮) :I must be choosen, I am the most beautiful girl in the world. 二姐(憑空跳舞) :No, Not you. I have the charming shape, I am the Queen. (兩姐爭吵起來,繼母從女兒手中拿過傳單,親吻) 繼母:Oh, baby. Stop. You two are the most beautiful girls in our country. He will probably choose one of you. Come on , make up yourself. We haven』t enough time!(瞪灰姑娘)Cinderella, what are you doing? Come here, help your sisters! 灰姑娘 :OK, I will. But, mom, can I go to the party tonight? I want to ------ (三人斂神) 一姐:Oh, my God! I forgot Tim』s homework. He gave us a lot of homework.. I can』t finish, what should I do ? 二姐(拿書,指,附和) :Oh, Yes, Yes. Look, execise A, excise B, excise C, excise D, excise E, Oh, planning tree, essay, study plan------(偷瞄灰姑娘,哭)Oh, my God! Oh 3 小獅子找食物 （I Am Hungry） 角色：雄獅、小獅、小白兔、小松鼠、小女孩。 道具：雄獅、小獅、小白兔、小松鼠頭套、紅蘿卜、花生一把、蘋果一個。 Act 1 雄獅：（怒吼）Roar, roar! I am the lion, the king of the forest. No one is stronger than me. Roar, roar! 小獅：Daddy! I』m hungry. 雄獅：You are big now. Be brave! Go and find your own food. 小獅：But, I don』t know how. 雄獅：Do it like me. Roar, roar! （怒吼） 小獅：（小聲地）Roar, roar! 雄獅：Rush to the animals and bite them with your sharp teeth.（ 露出尖利的牙齒） Go and do it now. 小獅：Yes, daddy. Act 2 小白兔：（唱」Rabbit, R 693535747 19:39:38 abbit, Carrot Eater」） Rabbit, rabbit, carrot eater. He says there is nothing sweeter, Than a carrot everyday, Munch and crunch and run away. 小獅：Hi, rabbit! I am hungry. Roar, roar!（小聲地） 小白兔：Do you want some carrots? 小獅：Yes, please. （小白兔遞給小獅一根紅蘿卜） 小獅：Thank you. 小白兔：Carrots are the best food. 小獅：（吃了一口）Yuck! I don』t like it. Anyway, thank you, rabbit. （還紅蘿卜給小白兔） 小白兔：You are welcome. （邊跳邊唱」Rabbit, Rabbit, Carrot Eater」 離開） Act 3 小松鼠：（唱著」Found a Peanut」） Found a peanut. Found a peanut. Found a peanut 693535747 19:39:38 just now. Just now I found a peanut. Found a peanut just now. 小獅：Hi, squirrel! I am hungry. Roar, roar! （小聲地） 小松鼠：Do you want some peanuts? 小獅：Yes, please. （小松鼠遞給小獅一些花生） 小獅：Thank you. 小松鼠：Peanut is the best food. 小獅：（吃了一顆）Yuck! It』s too hard. I don』t like it. Anyway, thank you, squirrel. （將花生還給小松鼠） 小松鼠：You are welcome. （邊走邊唱」Found a Peanut」離開） Act 4 （小女孩邊走邊唱」Apple Round」） 小女孩：Apple round. Apple red. Apple juicy. Apple sweet. 4 Global warming A． Class begins, good afternoon everyone. B． C. D ：Good afternoon, teacher. A. First, I will ask you a question: What is the serious problem nowadays ? B. I think it』s the problem of environment pollution. A. It』s related to our correct answer. But it isn』t correct one. B. Is it the problem of population increasing? A. No. C. Oh. I got it. It』s global warming. A. Right! Global warming is one of the serious problems nowadays. Because…… B. Teacher. I have a question. It was very cold indeed this winter. I think it』s global cooling! A. You got the wrong concept. Global warming doesn』t only mean that the weather is getting hot, but also mean that the weather is out of control. So it will be sometimes very cold. B. Teacher. What causes 「 global warming」? C. I know. Now people drive too many cars and the exhaust gases discharged by the cars and lorries pollute the air and also destroy the nature. It causes global warming. A. You are right. Do you know what will happen with the global warming? B. Yes. The ices in South Pole are going to be melted and at the time, many islands will be graally flooded with water. Human will have no places to live. C. Surely, we don』t want that will happen. A. What sould we do to stop 「Global warming」? B. I think we can protect the environment from ourselves. We can plant trees C. When we are protecting the environment, we are saving ourselves. A. Ok. Students, we can』t only speak but not do later . Let us go planting trees. D. Oh, teacher! Tomorrow is March the twelfth, it』s tree-planting day! A. Yes! Now all of you know the importance of protecting the environment. B．C．D．Let us do our best to stop 「Global warming」 and make our earth a lovely homeland! A. That is good . I hope you all will be succeeded in protecting the environment. Now the class is over bye-bye students! B.C.D. good bye. Teacher.

❻ 搞笑英語話劇劇本

搞笑7人劇本《西門吹雪與葉孤城》
演員表：西門吹雪、葉孤城、花滿樓、king、路人、上官雪兒
旁白
道具：牛奶兩袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，紙屑若干。
第一幕：決戰紫荊城之顛
旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow .
Birds are dancing in the cold .
A man is walking along the street ,step by step .
Wind is coming in silence.
Another mysterious man approaches .
Y與X相遇．
X：oH ,I am sorry to knock you !
Y:, Never mind baby.
X:Excuse me， who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name?
Y:,I won』t change my name! no matter what happens. I』m the most famous——-YeGucheng. Who are you?
X:Iamximenchuixue.
Y驚訝:Ar, ximenchui xue?the best MartialArts?
X:Great, you know me !Today is your dead date!
Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don』t kill me! Let me go!
X:No, I must kill you !
Y:I don』t want to be killed. There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!
X:No way! Because we are fighting now ! you know ?
Y突然站起冷冷的說：Don』t force me!
X:Pardon!
(Y拿出一袋牛奶)
X搶過牛奶:milk, very good ! I like drinking it. How do you know that?
Y:please drink it!
X喝完牛奶:Thanks,
Y:Do you still want to kill me ?
X:Sure, must! Milk is milk.
Y(惱怒+冷酷):Very good ! very good ! I hope you will not forget what you said!?
X:I』m sure I won』t!
Y:I must give you a lesson ! If I don』t beat you this time, you』ll never behave properly ! 3-2-1!
X捂著肚子，蹲下（做痛苦狀）：Oach,Oach !
Y大笑：HaHa……the milk is exceed the time limit
（一人路過，x起身跑過去）
X可憐狀: excuse me! Help , help , Where is the washroom?please ,tell me .
Y:Oh,I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a corssing road!
X:Thanks,byebye.
Y:byebye (以勝利者的語氣，轉頭,看見 花滿樓)
Y:Who are you?
H:Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?
Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in 「WC」 .
H驚訝:Now you are the best in the world !
Y:You are right !
H:Teriffic ! you are the one my king looking for ! do you want join in us? If you follow my king,he will give what you want.
Y:Yes,It』s very good.
H:Ok, follow me, Let』s go to see my king!
第二幕：無間道
H:My dearest ! let me introce yegucheng to you! （指Y） this is yegucheng.
K:sit down plese, yegucheng.
Y:excuse me,I have a question.will you give me what I want just if I follow you?
King:yes,I will.
Y:That』s good. Can you give me a MM ?
K:of couse.You are the one who has the similar taste with me! Hahaha……
Y:of course.
美女出場
M:hello，帥鍋..
K: this is shangguanxueer.ok,now let』s have a ritual.
H走到Y前，《婚禮進行曲》起，H神甫狀:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache , poor ,rich?
Y: Yes,I do.
K: Huamanlou, come . put the ring on his finger!（音樂停）
X唱著上:(看到戒指) this ring should be mine!
K:But who are you ? why should it belong to you?
Y急切: king! Dear king ! I must go now , my brother is looking for me.
X冷酷:yegucheng! Come here ! I want to tell you something!
Y抱X的腿:old brother ! Forgive me!
X:Forgive you? Why ?
Y: Once there was a chance before me , I lost it . If the god give me another chance, I』ll tell you 「 I love you 」 , If the remustbea limited period,I hope it is thousand year!
X:You shall cheat me ! all you did are wrong ! how can you tell me the lady』s 「WC」!
Y:I like going lady』s WC .I……I……I think that you like what I like.(Y又拿出一袋牛奶)
X:milk?I love you.
K:Don』t say that 「you love me」. I』ll kill you for you saying dirty word to me !
X:What? (側耳裝著聽不到) You—kill—-me?come, come…(X上去抓住K)
K:Fuck you. I must kill you!
X:How can you kill me? haha……
Y:Let me have a try! 3-2-1(X捂著肚子，蹲下)
M: oh,what happened?（看著X，做驚嚇狀）are you ok?（跑到西門吹雪身邊）
Y :do you want to go to wc?
X:Yes,I……I…… do.
Y:haha, the milk was added 三聚氰胺 beyond standards.
M: you , stupid , bad behavior ! go away !
K; why ? why do you help him ! who actually are you ?
M: actually,I』m a spy sended by LuXiaofeng,and I fell in love with ximenchuixue.
K驚訝: !you—you—You are X』lover?
Y: do you know, you are the first person who cheated me ! I hate you .(輕聲說)let me tell you,Xwill die.
M撲倒在X的身邊：X,do』t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope in the future and tomorrow is a good beginning !
K:what a moving story ! I was impressed !
Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !
M: life is a progress ,and it is delight that it needn』t resume !
(M忽然將一把匕首插進Y的心臟，K嚇跑.音樂《再見，警察》起)
Y痛苦狀:I never anticipate you treat me by this ,why?tell me why?(Y死，音樂停)
（X咳，H撲到身邊，電影《我的父親母親》原聲音樂起）
M: X , oh , no ,you can』t die ,we will go home together .
X:go home ! ?
M:Tomorrow is another day ! even you have the last second to live ,you should be alive ,not only for me , but for our love.
X: promise me,you』ll get on well,and you』ll never let go.
M I promise . I will never let go（X死） ,
M: be alive !yeah , be alive ! be alive without ahendance !
—來自於網路

❼ 搞笑英語短劇6人

守株待兔（英語短劇） 劇本
你可以自己加幾個角色~

（因為是搞笑，所以不必太拘謹。普通台詞意思對即可。）

[開始。樹）上台安靜地屹立到舞台較後方。導演（范冰）走到台前]

導演：Action！[跑下台]

[農夫冷酷地上。]

農夫：I』m a farmer.（稍停頓）[走兩步]A modern farmer.（掏出墨鏡戴上）[冷酷地走兩步，突然被絆了一跤，回頭生氣地踢了下絆自己的石頭，繼續保持冷酷]When I was yong,I studied in Nan~tong Middle School[掏出胸卡驕傲地展示給觀眾看，收起]！So I』m rich now！[開始展示名牌，邊說邊掏]Look！This is my modern mobile——Motorola WC 250！This is my Swatch!This my MP3!This is my shoes——ADI~DAS!This is… [不經意地掏出一個蘋果]Oh,sorry. And look at this![從懷里掏出癢癢撓] Do U know what』s this？癢癢撓？No no no~~It』s my modern——鋤頭~！！[看下錶]It』s time to do some farming！[開始彎下腰做出鋤地的動作，鋤了兩下，突然] Oh yes!I think farming should be combined with music![掏出MP3戴上，開始很有激情地邊鋤地邊唱]Farming farming,I』m farming!Farming should be combined with music~!Farming farming,I』m farming!Farming will be funny and easy~![邊唱邊鋤邊慢慢下台，把沒用的道具拿走，把有用的道具准備在口袋裡] [樹走上前台]

樹：I』m a tree!I can do many things!I can sing![做出瘋狂搖滾歌手的動作，邊做邊唱：哼哼哈西！！！]I can dance![跳四小天鵝]I』m tall!And I』m Strong!IF you hit me,you will 掛掉！Oh?There comes a rabbit! [引導觀眾看兔子A)。樹站回後台]

[兔子A上]

兔子A（一開始不知道狀況。以為自己扮演周傑倫，所以很熱情地上場跟觀眾打招呼）：Hey everybody,I』m Jay!I love U!I love Nantong![展示新專輯《十一月的肖邦》]Now let me sing one of my new songs to U！The name of the song is 《發如雪》！[清清嗓子正要唱，這時候導演（范冰）上]

導演：[拿手中紙筒狠狠打了下兔子A的頭]What are U doing?! Now U are a rabbit,understand?![兔子A：Sorry sorry sorry] [導演邊說邊奪過《十一月的肖邦》。導演下台之前，看了下《十》] What』s this?[看了看，驚喜地]Oh!It』s mine！（很興奮地拿著下場）

兔子A：OK,now I』m a rabbit. I just had my breakfast. Now I』m just walking around here. I think walking after meals is good for my health. [在場上轉圈，悠閑散步]

[農夫繼續鋤地，邊鋤邊上場，突然看見前面有個兔子]

農夫：（驚喜地）Lunch！[扔掉癢癢撓]I will catch it！ [偷偷摸摸地跟到兔子後面走]

[農夫跟在兔子後面。兩個人走啊走。兔子突然回頭。農夫假裝看手錶。兩人繼續走。兔子回頭。農夫假裝看天氣。兩人繼續走。兔子回頭。農夫假裝打手機。兩人繼續走，兔子回頭。這次農夫冷酷地把槍口對准了兔子。]

兔子A：Wahhhh~!（嚇一跳）What』s this！

農夫：Hnnnn…！I will kill U for lunch!

兔子A：But your gun… [幫農夫把槍頭調轉過來（農夫一開始把槍對著自己）]

農夫：Thank you!

兔子A：My pleasure. （突然想起來農夫要殺自己） Wah~~~~~~ [兔子跑，躲到樹後面，農夫追到樹前]

農夫：Where~ to go? Haha!

[農夫開了一槍「砰」。兔子在樹後驚慌躲閃，沒被打到。樹做出受傷中彈狀。 農夫又開槍，同上。 農夫開始加快頻率，火力密集地開槍。兔子開始時驚慌躲閃，躲著躲著跳起舞來。樹繼續痛苦中彈狀。]

兔子A[自我陶醉中，邊跳邊說]You didn』t hurt me! You didn』t hurt me！

樹：[痛苦萬分地]But…U…Hurt me….[痛苦地慢慢挪動到兔子背後]

[兔子繼續興奮地跳舞。農夫停止開槍，走到兔子面前，看著它。 兔子猛然抬頭發現]

農夫：Ah ha~! Bye bye ! [舉槍對准兔子，開槍，沒聲音，看看槍，示意沒子彈了。兔子見狀，非常興奮地大笑起來]

兔子A：Ha ha ha ha! You can』t kill me now！ [興奮大笑，笑到抽筋，笑到後仰。突然頭撞倒了後面的樹] Wa ！[兔子暈兩下~~ 「我倒！」 倒地]

農夫：OH! [很興奮地過去兩個手指提起兔子]My lunch , I caught you !!! [想一下] But I』m still full now.Let me tie it to the tree and have a sleep.I will eat it after sleeping.[把兔子綁到樹上。倒地睡到樹旁邊]

……

兔子A：[兔子很快醒了，看看四周，發現自己被綁了，很驚訝]Where am I? What happened?

樹：[指著農夫]He caught you and wanted to eat you.

兔子A：What?! I must leave here! But how can I escape？[東張西望，看到農夫的手機]

[兔子不知不覺地把樹杈移開，走到手機前看了看]咦？What』s this？[撿起來看]Oh,a mobile.[再看]It』s beautiful.[放回原處。 又自覺地把自己綁在樹上。 突然想起來]A mobile！Maybe I can call some one to help me！ [又不知不覺地把自己放出來，那起手機] But how to use it？？？

樹：[走上前]Let me tell U.Look,press this button![給兔子]

兔子A：Oh I see. [做出打電話的樣子] 喂？

李詠：[上台，激情澎湃地] Hello！This is lucky fifty-two！[做出幸運52的手勢]I』m Liyong！Now let』s start our first question！What』s the most probable relation between 康熙 and 雍正？ A. Husband and wife B.Teacher and student C.Waiter and costomer Answer me,please!

兔子A：（很冷漠地）Sorry， wrong number.[掛掉]

李詠：Answer me!Answer me! En..?喂？喂喂？[很郁悶地下台]

兔子A：Now let me call again.[撥打] 喂？

兔子B：喂？

兔子A：Hey Jackey！

兔子B：Hey tommy!

兔子A：How are you doing?

兔子B：Fine,thank you.And U?

兔子A：I』m fine too!How are your parents doing?

兔子B：They are fine,thank you.And U?

兔子A：They are fine,too!How is your uncle doing?

兔子B：He』s fine,thank you!And U?

兔子A：He』s fine , too!

兔子B：But why do you call me? If you want borrow some money from me…NO WAY!!!

兔子A：No no no!I』m in danger now!Come and help me!!!

兔子B：But where are you?

兔子A：I』m under a tree!

兔子B：[邊打電話邊在附近走，經過兔子A面前，兩個人還沒發現]What can you see around you?

兔子A：I see a rabbit ,rather like you!

兔子B：A rabbit…rather like me… OK! I』ll soon come!Wait for me! I will help you! [匆匆離開]

[兔子A 打完電話，小心翼翼地把手機放回農夫處，還很有禮貌地說了句「Thank you.」 然後又很自覺地把自己綁回了樹上]

兔子A：Hahaha!My friend will come and save me,yeah! [興奮過度，後仰，頭又撞倒樹上，昏眩中…「我暈！」 又暈了]

[兔子B上。]兔子B：I』m also rabbit！I』m clever! I』m brave ! And I』m strong! [展示肌肉] OH！My friend is here!Let me help him out! [費力地想把樹枝（雙臂）挪開，使了幾次勁，還是不行] It』s too tight! I must think of a good way! [看到農夫扔掉的癢癢撓] Let』s see,what』s this！A 鋤頭！[裝作打高爾夫球，試了試鋤頭手感]Oh,it』s nice.[走到樹面前，正要砍]

樹：Stop！！！What will you do?

兔子B：I will cut you down to save my friend.

樹：O. [突然醒悟] What?! Cut me down?! Teachers told us that we should protect the environment! Understand?!

兔子B：Oh yes！You are right! [扔掉鋤頭] I have to think of another idea! [想了想] Oh!![靈感突來][看了看手錶] Oh it』s time to do morning exercise ！Come on! [開始帶頭做早操。做著做著對樹說「Follow me！」 （企圖讓樹動起來，兩只手鬆開，這樣就可以救出兔子A）樹也開始跟著做起早操。 兔子B輕輕上前，想救出兔子A。但是樹的廣播操動作恰好都是會擋住營救的。兔子B狂汗… -_-b 廣播操畢。樹繼續綁著兔子A]

兔子B：Why?! Maybe I need another idea. Oh!I』v got it！Music！ [音響放起泰坦尼克號主題曲高潮前奏。 兔子B抱住樹，企圖引導樹像女主角一樣張開雙臂，放出兔子A。樹漸漸陶醉，手緩緩松開。兔子B正要搭救同伴，突然兔子A兩只手張開，成了女主角動作。樹又抱住了兔子A的腰，成了男主角動作。樹和A陶醉其中。B要喚醒A：「Wake up!Wake up!」

兔子A沉醉其中，完全不理它，還用腳踹走要救它的B：「Don』t disturb me！」繼續陶醉。]

兔子B：（無奈ing…）Stop！！！（音樂停） （沮喪）I can』t save my friend…[掏出紙巾想要擦汗，帶出10塊錢，掉在地上]

樹：Money！[一個箭步沖上去撿起錢，回到原位並且對著太陽驗鈔。]

兔子A：[看四周] I』m free!!!Oh yes,I』m free!Thank you,Jackey! [慢動作深情撲向兔子B] Jackey~~~~ [突然兔子B低頭系鞋帶。兔子A控制不住一下子撞在樹上，暈兩下說：「暴頭！」死翹。] [兔子B見狀沖上去，深情地摟住A：「Tommy!Tommy！」[傷心地俯下身子，緊緊抱住A]

[這時睡覺中的農夫突然一個翻身，又把B壓在了下面]

兔子B：I…can』t….breath……I』m dying!!!! [也翹了]

農夫：[農夫這時候醒了。擦了下口水，看見兩只兔子] En..?Two rubbits! I rememer I have caught just one?! Oh,maybe I drank too much.

[興奮地一手提一隻兔子，哼著小曲下場]

樹：[還在驗鈔的樹正在高興，突然發現是假鈔]A！It』s a fake！Wait for me！[追下去]

❽ 求英語搞笑話劇劇本。（6人，帶翻譯更高。）

《 荊珂刺秦王》
旁白(Aside )/介紹（Introction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman劍客 and was sent to kill king of Qing, 「Yingzheng」. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.
Action I
太子丹（上,掏出鏡子梳頭,做自戀狀）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (畫外音：It』s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高興狀) Thank u mirror! （面對觀眾） I』m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?
阿三(畢恭畢敬) : Honey, I am coming.
太子丹：I』ve told you again and again that you should call me 「my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan」!
阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作殺狀）
太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世紀最需要的是什麼,人才!然後拍阿三肩膀,做贊許狀） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.
太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?
阿三：Yes.
Action II
（《十面埋伏》中劉德華&金成武決斗時的音樂）
荊軻
Are you Li mochou?
李莫愁
Yes.
荊軻
OK. I』m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers』 world.
李莫愁
Are you challenging me?
荊軻
Off course! 聳聳肩表示同意
李莫愁
Come on!
音樂起
兩人沖上前來
「人在江湖漂啊,哪有不挨刀啊,一刀砍死你啊,兩刀砍死你啊.」
李莫愁倒地
荊軻大笑
李莫愁痛苦狀：What happened? Why aren』t you hurt?
荊軻: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? （贏一個人需要理由么,不需要麼,需要麼?）
李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.
荊軻再次大笑
太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?
荊柯：Fine, thank you, and you?
太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to 「How are you」?
荊柯：Sure!
太子丹：How are you?
荊柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?
太子丹暈倒
荊柯：Hey, man, I』m kidding!
太子丹：Oh, I』m kidding too!（畢恭畢敬）May I have your name card, please?
荊軻從兜里掏出一卷紙,上面寫著：
To be or not to be, that's a question.
阿三：Hero,we need your help.
荊柯：I am busy now!
太子丹：You can get a lot of money.
荊柯：I am very busy now!
阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?
荊柯：I am very very busy now!
阿三(手指上場的美女,激動狀): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.
荊柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!
阿三：What? What』s the TCM?
荊柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn』t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.
阿三：Excuse me? What』s the TCM?
觀眾甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .
太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new proct of Unilever China.
荊柯（激動）：Slimming減食療法 tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn』t rece my weight.
阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I』m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧?難道你真的想要嗎……

荊柯(誠懇狀) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.
太子丹與阿三（撞胯,擊掌）Yeah!

❾ 白雪公主搞笑英語話劇劇本

白雪公主》英語話劇劇本

SW-白雪公主 Q-皇後 M-魔鏡 H-獵人P-白馬王子 D-小矮人 音樂起，旁白

A long time ago, In a beautiful kingdom, there lived a young king and queen, the people loved them so much; the queen died while giving birth to a girl, her name was Snow White, She was a beautiful princess. Year passed, the king got married again, The people didn』t love the new queen, because she was cruel. One day, In the king』s palace: ----白雪出場

S.w: My name is Snow white , I am a beautiful princess, I miss my mother so much, Where is my mother ? Where is my mother ?

音樂起，皇後、魔鏡出場

Q: I am a queen , I』m very beautiful , Where is Mirror ? Mirror , Mirror on the wall , who』s the most beautiful ?

M: Snow white is much more beautiful than you !

Q: Hunter, go kill Snow white .

獵 人 出 場

H: Yes, my queen

音樂起，獵人追趕白雪，公主驚慌出逃

S.w: Help me ,help me, please, please !

白雪順利脫逃後

S.w: I am tried and hungry, oh, there is a little house , I will eat a little and lie down.

音樂起，7個小矮人出場，

D: 1\Look, somebody ate my food----

2\Somebody drank my water----

3\Someone is sleeping now----

4\What a beautiful girl!----

小矮人睡覺----音樂起公主先醒了----小矮人醒了----對話

5\How do you do?

S.w: How do you do? My name is Snow white … Nice to meet you!

D:（齊說）Nice to meet you ,too----

6\ welcome to our house!----

7\Would you like to live here?

S.W: My pleasure, thank you very much!

D: Let』s go out for our work, bye-bye, Snow white.

皇後、魔鏡出場

Q: Mirror, mirror on the wall , who』s the most beautiful?

M: Snow white is much more beautiful than you!

Q: What ? Snow white is not dead ? Hahaha, I got a good idea!

音樂起，皇後扮演老太太出場，對話

Q: Apple ,apple, beautiful apple,

S.w: Hello, Good morning grandma!

Q: pretty girl ,would you like a bite?

S.w: Oh, yes ,thank you grandma!

白雪公主咬一口後倒地

Q: The girl is dead! Hahaha…

小矮人出場、圍著公主哭

Snow white wake up, wake up…

音樂起，小矮人引著王子出場

P: A beautiful girl! She shall be my queen!

王子喚醒公主，公主醒了

P：Wake up ! Wake up , my queen !

S.w: Thank you for your help !

P: My pleasure !

音樂起，小矮人、公主、王子跳起歡快的舞