英語小報笑話

㈠ 英語的幽默故事4~5個,要有中文翻譯(寫在手抄報上的,希望笑話能正經點.)

已解決問題 收藏 求英語幽默故事。 10 標簽：幽默 故事,英語,幽默 英語英語。幽默幽默。故事故事。
然後要有點難度的阿~
不要太常見的歐~~
還有要帶翻譯。 . 回答:11 人氣:11 解決時間:2009-04-11 13:14 檢舉 I'm Trying to Stop It "Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it." 「孩子，你為什麼用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了嗎？」 「沒有，老師。可是你昨天說你告訴我的知識都是一個耳朵里進，一個耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在裡面。」 「I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .」 「Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!」 「Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .」 「對不起，夫人，為您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。」 「20美元！為什麼？不是說好只要4美元。」 「是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四個病人嚇跑了。」 TWO： Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example? John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short. 老師：我們都知道熱脹冷縮的道理。現在，誰給我舉個例子？ 約翰：嗯，在夏天天都長，在冬天天都短。 The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?" "I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.". 教進化論的老師已經滔滔不絕地講了快兩個小時，他的話題又來了：「讓我向進化論者提個問題——如果我們曾經像狒狒那樣長著尾巴，那麼現在尾巴到哪裡去了？」 「我來試試看，」一位老太太說。 「該是我們在這里坐這么久把它們磨掉了吧。」

㈡ 英語小報幽默笑話大全

男孩對女孩說：「親愛的，我愛你！我願意為你遮風、擋雨，不讓你受一點風吹日曬。」
女孩說，「為你受一點風吹也是值得的。」
男孩說：「不，一點也不行！」
女孩非常感動，然後把擋在電風扇前的男孩踹開了

㈢ 求英語手抄報的內容:英文小故事\小笑話

A man took a pair of shoes to a shoe repair shop and said to the shoemaker, "I'd like you to repair these shoes for me, please."

"Certainly, sir," the shoemaker said.

"When will they be ready?" the man asked.

"I'm a bit busy, but they'll be ready for you on Thursday." he said.

That's fine," the man said, and left the shop.

The next morning he received a letter, offering him a job in another country. Within 24 hours he was on an airplane to his new job.

Twenty years passed and he returned to his hometown.

He remembered his shoes.

"They were a good pair of shoes," he thought. "I wonder if the shoemaker is still there and still has them. I'll go and see.擾He was pleased to see that the shoemaker was still in the same shop ,although he was an old man by now.

"Good morning," he said to him. "Twenty years ago, I brought in a pair of shoes to be repaired. Do you think you've still got them?"

"Name?" the old shoemaker asked.

"Smith," the man said.

"I'll go and see. They may be out back.

The shoemaker went out to the back of his shop -and a few minutes later returned ,carrying the pair of shoes.

"Here we are," he said. "One pair of brown shoes to be repaired. I'm a bit busy now, but they'll probably be ready on Thursday."
.快速服務

一個人把一雙鞋子拿到一家鞋店，並對修鞋匠說，「請幫我修這雙鞋子。」

「當然可以，先生，」鞋匠說。

「什麼時候能修好？」那個人問。

「我有點忙，但到星期四我會修好鞋子的。」他說。

「很好，」那人說，並離開了那家店。

第二天早上，他收到一封信，提供他一份在國外的工作。24小時內，他登上飛機去接受那份新工作。

二十年過去了，他回到了故鄉。

他記起了那雙鞋。

「那是一雙好鞋，」他想，「我想知道鞋匠是否還在那兒，是否還有那雙鞋。我要去看看。」

他很高興看到鞋匠還在那家店裡，雖然他已很老了。

「早上好，」他對鞋匠說，「二十年前，我拿了一雙鞋子來修。你記得還有那雙鞋嗎？」

「名字？」老鞋匠問。

「史密斯，」那人回答。

「我去瞧瞧，或許在後面呢。」

鞋匠回到店的後面去，幾分鍾後又回來了，手裡提著那雙鞋子，「在這呢，」他說，「一雙棕色的鞋子要修。我有點忙，但可以到星期四把鞋子修好。」

㈣ 做關於笑話的英語手抄報可以用什麼圖片

兒子:爸爸,給我講個故事.
爸爸:好吧.從前,有隻青蛙......
兒子:不,我要聽歷史故事.
爸爸:好把.在宋朝的時候,有一隻青蛙......

㈤ 誰能提供6年級英語小學生手抄報要有好笑的笑話和短文，兩樣都【帶翻譯】，

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

他贏了
湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎？
約翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了傷。
湯姆：真糟糕，怎麼回事兒？
約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠，他贏了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流著血回到家裡。他媽媽問，「發生了什麼事？」
「一個男孩咬了我一口，」伊凡說。
「再見到他你能認出來嗎？」媽媽問。
「他走到哪裡我都能認出他，」伊凡說。「他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。」

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
「昨天給你的錢干什麼了？」
「我給了一個可憐的老太婆，」他回答說。 「你真是個好孩子，」媽媽驕傲地說。「再給你兩分錢。可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢？」
「她是個賣糖果的。」

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處於那種對什麼事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：「爸爸，『醉』字是什麼意思？」 「唔，孩子，」父親回答說，「你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那麼我就算醉了。」 「可是，爸爸， 」孩子說，「那兒只有一個警察呀！」

（笑話）

㈥ 英語小報，五年級。一些英語小笑話，短文

以下回答是否解決了您的疑問
五年級英語笑話
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. \"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?\"
\"I gave it to a poor old woman,\" he answered.
\"You're a good boy,\" said the mother proudly. \"Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?\"
\"She is the one who sells the candy.\"
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
「昨天給你的錢干什麼了？」
「我給了一個可憐的老太婆，」他回答說。 「你真是個好孩子，」媽媽驕傲地說。「再給你兩分錢。可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢？」
「她是個賣糖果的。」
A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, \"Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?\"
摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向紐約豪華中心站去趕一趟火車。接近門口，一位肥胖的中年婦女從後面沖過來，沒想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了腳，仰面滑倒了。她的慣性使她接近了我的腳。我正准備扶她，她卻自己爬了起來。她鎮定了一下，對我擠了一下眉，說道：「總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎？」

㈦ 英語小笑話 和小報 少點

An Awkward Situation

One of the guests turned to a man by his side and criticized the woman who was singing.
"What a terrible vioce! Do you know she is?"
"Yes," was the answer,"she is my wife."
"Oh,l beg your pardon. Of course her vioce isn't bad. I wonder who wrote the awful song."
"l did," was the answer.

翻譯：
尷尬的處境

一位客人扭身對他旁邊的一個男人批評正在唱歌的那個女人。
「多糟糕的嗓子。你知道她是誰么？」
「知道，」那人回答，「她是我妻子。」
「噢，對不起。當然她的嗓子不壞，但歌曲寫的不好。也不知道是誰寫的這么蹩腳的歌曲。」
「是我。」那人回答說。

美文：

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
對於世界而言，你是一個人；但是對於某個人，你是他的整個世界。
Don』t waste your time on a man/woman, who isn』t willing to waste their time on you.
不要為那些不願在你身上花費時間的人而浪費你的時間。
Don』t try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
不要著急，最好的總會在最不經意的時候出現。

㈧ 英語小笑話三十字，急需做手抄報

Good Boy

Little robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
「昨天給你的錢干什麼了？」
「我給了一個可憐內的容老太婆，」他回答說。 「你真是個好孩子，」媽媽驕傲地說。「再給你兩分錢。可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢？」
「她是個賣糖果的。」

㈨ 英語手抄報冷笑話35字

He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他贏了
湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎?
約翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了傷。
湯姆：真糟糕，怎麼回事兒?
約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠，他贏了。

A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子進入教堂和上帝對話.他問:"主啊, 一百萬美元對你意味著多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又問:"且話僂蚰昴?"上帝說:"一秒鍾."最後男子請求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士嗎?"上帝回答:"過一秒鍾."

2. The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
魚網
"你能告訴我魚網是什麼做的嗎，安?" 老師發問道。
"把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網了。" 小女孩回答道。

3. The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."
新老師
9月1日， 喬治放學回到家裡。
"喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎?" 媽媽問。
"媽媽，我不喜歡，因為她說3加3得6, 可後來又說2加4也得6。"